no, this isnt about some cheesy church ritual.
just life.
i love starting new things. its exciting and has so many unexplored possibilities, its endless! whether its starting a new semester, or starting a new major, or a new job, new relationships, new nieces, etc.
but that doesnt mean i love endings. in fact, i hate them. why do things have to end for new things to start? i don't understand. well, okay, theres the time input, and the fact that you have to progress to the next level to get anywhere, but i dont like it. of course, i want this semester to end. it's been the bane of my existence for awhile now. but today was my last set of classes i had with eric. we had three classes together all right in a row. does this mean were basically not going to see each other anymore next semester? because now i've changed my major, we dont have any of the same classes. if i'd stayed with con bio, we would have a lot of the same, but i didnt.
and really, thats another thing. today in bio we were talking about biodiversity and it made me sad. i really, really love that line of discipline. but i know i didn't make the wrong choice in switching, seeing as i hadn't even considered nursing till all of a sudden a random thought pops in my head telling me i should do it. i've been to enough church to know you don't ignore those types of thoughts. i prayed about it too. multiple times. its right for me. (does Heavenly Father start getting annoyed when i repeatedly ask him? i know he didn't like it so much when Jo asked him three times about letting his buddy martin have some proof for his unbelieving wife, but can my situation be the exception, please? so i can ask again tonight?) it means giving up my dream of chasing and conserving new species all over the world-but gained a dream of joining Doctors without Borders and saving peoples lives instead of animals. i guess its a fair trade off. sometimes i think i still like animals more than people. okay, i do like animals more than people. but this is what i'm supposed to be doing. i'm just glad i got the hint early enough, so i didn't have to spend 7 years of my life here. Thanks, HF.
even now, i look back at high school and i am kinda sad it ended..but not really. maybe its a love/hate relationship? i really don't understand my own feelings. but i look back at things and i just miss them. is that normal? i hated it while i was there. even the little things, though, like one simple semester of school, 6 classes that end. i'm sad they have to end. but i'm excited for the new one.
i've got issues with endings.
well, here's an update.
-i love my baby niece. she's the best. i'm not kidding. if you've got a niece, she's nowhere near as good as mine. (unless you're my aunt.) ;D
-i was so happy to see my family at thanksgiving! i was forgetting what it was like to be with them. but i remember now. highly annoyed by bryce ( i thought my leaving would change that?), elbow fights with dad over the baby, and couldnt get enough of my mommy. good talks with the aunt, funny grandparents. yay for bro-in law! stupid thumb of his. oh and sister. don't see her enough. and of course, all of them bothering me about homework.
-it snowed. and i dont hate it as much as i thought. in fact, the snow is beautiful. and with my new boots i can walk in it. and not have my feet be cold. (most important factor on how i feel towards snow: how cold i am.) so if i dress right, i really love the snow that stays on the ground.
-home and christmas is in the near future. :D oh happy days. i'll be home for christmas. :)
