i should have a positive attitude but...

i don't.

christmas is about family.
if i've learned anything at Walt Disney World, it's where my priorities lie.
that much is clear.

parade crash bang die.

tuesday was a memorable day.

here's the thing: the internationals know parade. no one else does. but the big wigs on high decided that internationals can no longer do parade. cold turkey. in the middle of the holiday season. which means a very, very high volume of people.  with cast members who don't have a clue what they're doing.
we would have ignored the bigwigs but they were actually physically coming to see the internationals dance with the banghra DJ at the yak'n'yeti. go figure.
so we finally got the stanchions up at probably 3:20, after putting one in, realizing the rope didn't fit, and taking it back out again, repeatedly. (parade starts at 3:45, stanchions should be up no later than 2:45.) the coordinator who was supposed to be coordinating at this time had done parade maybe once or twice, and (through no fault of her own) was completely lost. katie & i ended up "taking over", assigning positions, and telling people what to do.

it was all going seemingly well (as well as could be expected from our point...a bit stressful but not too overwhelming) until the fight broke out, just minutes before parade was at our door. thankfully the manager on hand spoke spanish, because the offending family was only spanish speaking and that was fun. its always fun when guests fight. the coordinator was running back and forth between helping the manager deal with them and trying to see how far away parade was.  of course it was hot on our heels, and she was close to panicking but kept her cool.  the spot that the guests had chosen to cause this big ordeal was also idyllic-the tightest spot on my walkway (only barely two ECV's worth), meaning i had a backup going all the way behind tiger tree and unhappy guests in front of me. finally it cleared up (after parade had already hit us) and i assumed the situation was alleviated.

well then we tried to follow right behind parade (like we normally do with internationals) but sans internationals no one knew how to roll ropes that fast or that well. the manager (victor) tried and failed, katie tried and failed, i tried and failed. finally victor just yelled to take off every other rope and don't even worry about stanchions, so as i'm doing that, i start rolling rope in front of the fight family. the family next to them stops me (when i'm supposed to be keeping up with the cart & other parade breakers, but we were so screwed over anyway it didn't matter) and starts asking about the procedure and if there will be a report filed and they'd testify if there was a lawsuit because they were totally in the wrong and they saw the whole thing and they want something to be done and victor said this and victor said that ...all the while i say "yes of course" "right" "victor will take care of everything" while thinking "these people are idiots. what do they think I can do? the parade isn't even good enough to fight over, you morons. get over yourselves and get on with your life. oh good, here comes guests relations." it might have been a "sit down before you pass out from the stress" moment if my favorite manager ray hadn't stopped and helped, then made me laugh at myself in spite of the situation. he's good at that. but oh, the disaster. thankfully, its so not my problem anymore. 

The Manatees

Nov. 30th-Dec 3rd my parents came down to florida for a visit--seeing as i could get them into disneyworld for free, they graciously accepted my invitation.

the one thing my father wanted though, was not disneyworld. not even close.
he wanted to see the manatees.
we must be related or something.

i was more than happy to oblige.

the experience was incredible.  manatees are an incredible animal.  big, swimming labradors.  they're adorable. they don't like much loud noises (they'll swim away) so the quieter you are they longer they'll stay. they're endangered so you have to wait until they come to you (which they do, because they're basically giant swimming dogs.)

can i just tell you its the neatest experience to rub a manatee's belly when he obviously asks you to?  they even have sweet spots. this guy's was right above his flipper in the shoulder area. he would arc his back like that was the best feeling in the world. when we finally had to go, he followed me like a puppy just wanting to be scratched again. best part is we have it on DVD.

we also saw a baby manatee. we didn't get to touch, but the baby was the cutest thing in the world. it was also communicating with its mother--did you know manatees squeak like mice? it's true. they do.

anyway, to make a long story short, manatees are now my favorite animal. for a long time i've struggled with that question: i've always needed an explanation for why an animal is my favorite (and thereby could never answer said question with honesty). over the years i might have said elephant, cuttlefish, dolphin, orca. but lets be honest, i was mainstreaming. (elephants are legit though.) i don't like to go with the crowd and like the big popular things, thats just too easy. plus i wanted a personal reason. manatees take the cake. they're not popular, they're endangered, and i have a special connection and memory associated with them. they are beautiful.

Wild Africa Trek

Mom, Dad, and I all went on what is called the Wild Africa Trek at Animal Kingdom. (introduced to Animal Kingdom Jan of 2011!)
It was a blast and a half. I think some pictures speak thousands of words though or something like that, so here it is:

Dad's cool.

Yes, we wore harnesses.

How close to a hippo have you been?

The duck isn't part of the exhibit. 

Beggar.  

My shadow on a rickety bridge over Nile Crocodiles.

Mom & Dad crossing said rickety bridge.

Shoe, bridge, crocodiles.

Thermoregulation.

Dad hugging the crocs. I think.

Thumbs up for being on leashes over a cliff above Nile Crocodiles!

Mom standing away from the edge with the crocs. (She's not a fan.)

The leashes. And the leader. 

Reticulated giraffe. 

That hut back there is where we had lunch.

Masai Giraffe.

Baby elephants. Jabali (the smallest) was born while I was here at the end of August 2011. Jabali means "Strong as a Rock" in Swahili. 

 

Jabali

Masai Giraffe (seen from the hut structure)

Lunch on Safari!

I should have gotten the vegetarian option. But everything else was still good!

The flower that came with lunch.

Meant to be a palate cleanser.

mmmm

"I'm eating a flower."

"And its not half bad."

Dad just kept taking pictures....

Watching KSR (Kilimanjaro Safari Ride) trucks go by. 

I believe this is a black rhino. 

Me with the savanna behind. A giraffe is laying down in the background. 

Lets go to Africa. 

Ostrich.

Lion.

Yawn.

The Tree of Life. (Multiple meanings?)

All in all, it was the coolest experience. I loved sharing it with my parents (especially because they paid they're awesome) mostly because they're animal people too! And surprisingly enough its hard to find people who are animal people. And who don't mind if I talk their ear off concerning facts about DAK and all the animals in it. I suppose that's where it gets really tough to find people.......

salutations

are hard.

seriously...to NOT screw up a salutation is amazing for me. if i can go a whole day with a perfect track record, i'm pretty impressed.

there's just so many.  a simple "hello!" can be responded to in so many ways. such as: "hi!" "hey!" "good morning!" "good afternoon!" "beautiful day!" "how are you?" and to each they deserve a different response.
here's what i say to guests (especially at greeter):
"namaste!" (although not very often--this is what we're "supposed" to say as a greeting in asia)
"welcome!"
"enjoy!"
"have fun!"
"how are you doing today?"
"a little wet?" (just got off the river rapids)
"happy birthday _________!" (happy birthday pin)
"happy anniversary!" (happy anniversary pin)
"happy first visit!" (1st visit pin)
"congratulations!" (just married or just engaged pin)

now that parts the easy part. its what people say back that makes it hard & you have to think on your feet. ( i really don't know why this is so difficult for me.) i have to concentrate hard.

then guests say things like:
"you too!"
"thank you!"
"just fine, how about you!?"
"how are you doing?"
"is it open?"
"where is the line?"
"what is this?"
"do we get on a truck?"
"how long is it?"
"where is the mountain?"
"namaste?"
"just a little!"
"no english!"

and i gotta respond correctly to all of that while making sure no one is taking uncovered food into the trek, answering questions, letting fat strollers into the wheelchair access, adding guests with the button, and giving my opinion on the shows in the park.

but i always slip up on the little things. when a guest surprises me with a non-conventional comment like : you have a beautiful smile! --i tend to say things like: welcome! or enjoy! instead of thank you, like i really meant to say. or if i am caught off guard the first time, i just say "hmm?" and actually really focus the next time they say it so i can respond accordingly.  my absolute favorite though is when i tell kids happy birthday and say their name, then they look so shocked that i know their name and that it's their birthday, then they remember they're wearing the pin, reach up to touch it, and when they're parents nudge them to say "thank you" they instead return my happy birthday with yet another, "happy birthday". cutest thing in the world!

this post doesn't even begin to cover the complexity that is speaking to a multitude of people one right after another (and the difficulty i have had with it), but really i wanted to end with this. a SMILE means so much more than a salutation anyway. no matter what you say, if it's said with a smile you can't go wrong. and boy i love smiling. even if i don't mean it half the time. and the other half i'm trying not to yawn. just kidding, thats only 3/4 of the time--the other 1/4 i really am smiling for serious.

public transport.

listen. i'm not one of those stuck up rich white girls. only perhaps a little bit. and i hate it. but, seriously.

public transportation is NOT for me.

its inconvenient, first of all---you have to be at the bus stop 15 minutes early so you don't miss the correct bus, assuming the bus will be on time (which it never is) and it gets you to work at least a half hour to an hour early because if you took the next bus it would be only ten minutes before you were supposed to clock in. and since the buses don't run on time and you're already 10 minutes away from the computer you can clock in at (which can be 5-7 if you hurry) they're going to make you late no matter what. since we don't get walk time. and i live in asia. the furthest from everything. (except rafikis.)

but thats not even the worst part. most of the time i'm fearing for my life. and i've tried to occupy myself with other things when the driver is driving like a maniac, but i generally death grip the pole i'm sitting next to or the seat in front of me and watch wide-eyed waiting for the fiery collision to occur. they all drive too fast, stop too slow, and take turns way too closely. it scares the living daylights out of me. how do these people become bus drivers? of children? and/or college students? it kills me. heart attack, twice a day. i'm sure its not good for my nervous system. positively unhealthy.

Dennis Nedry

i felt a bit like this yesterday.  not the whole dinosaur spitting in my face thing. well sort of. but dennis nedry, yes.
it all started on a beautiful, sunny, hot florida day.
i was doing a butterfly survey.  better known as surveying butterflies.  well we drove down the road of the conservation area of disney, parked, and walked back along the road for a mile identifying butterflies. i was sweating it was so hot. on november 21st. despite that, in the far distance there were dark clouds coming, and half way through the survey the wind started a-blowing, then when we were just about done the rain started. sooo we turned around started walking back to the truck, however, when we turned around we saw a sheet of rain the size of grapes coming at us. so we commenced running. running in hiking boots really isn't comfortable, nonetheless the 40-year old feisty raptor keeper made it to the truck and BACK to us before the rain got us (she's amazing). however, i was in the front seat of said truck.  the person in the front seat of said truck is called the gatekeeper.  as we got closer and closer to the gate christy kindly pointed out to me that i would be the one getting out of the truck to unlock, let the truck through, and lock the gate behind us. in the rain the size of grapes, i was soaked before i put the key in the lock. christy (the aforementioned 40-year old) proceeded to take pictures of me on her iphone as i was struggling with the lock and also as i got back into the truck sopping wet. it was cute. real cute. now, as we drove back to animal kingdom, the rain stopped. bright and sunny once more, florida played an evil and cruel trick on me. my coworkers believed christy's story rather than mine that i jumped in the moat to play with an alligator. all was well, however, when the most beautiful rainbow showed up--every letter of ROY G. BIV was visible and it extended across the sky like it would never end. i also ended up with a tour of the nutrition center and the wildlife tracking center, both of which were rare treats that made my day.

the next thing that made my day was bonding with my managers, then driving home in the car so generously loaned to me by the lovely katie, then going to (and bringing an investigator to) thanksgiving dinner by the ward. after that, a lesson with the investigator and the missionaries, then a lovely drive home for a beautiful end to the evening.

to end on a completely different note, i have an appreciation for missionaries that i really didn't see before now.  the mantle is a powerful thing, and having been around when they're working its hard not to see it. it is truly incredible.

intelligence.

intelligence and disney do not always coincide.
surprise?
i'm pretty sure it happens at the front gate. as soon as these people go through the turnstyles and have their fingerprint scanned, it happens. they lose any and all semblance of intelligence and/or logic and/or common sense.

deer is plural. it is also singular. there is no such thing as "deers." especially when referring to a very, very large bovine species.
not every bird with feathers is a peacock.
when a "baby" bird with a ten foot wingspan is flying 3 inches over your head while sitting, don't stand up.
don't try to grab the crane. why would you try to grab a bird flying over your head?
the person standing around in the neon pink blouse, strangely patterned skirt, and nametag really is a disney cast member. same as the next person in the exact same getup. i know, we blend. its our fault.
no matter how much you pretend you don't speak english, we know you do when you start to yell at us in it. fluently.
putting your small child standing up on top of the five foot fence enclosing the 1800 lb banteng really isn't the best idea.
yelling/meowing/whistling/"here kitty kitty"-ing at tigers isn't going to make them move, except perhaps in the other direction.
antelope are not baby deer.
leaving your sleeping child alone in a stroller outside while you ride the ride isn't good. in fact you should be jailed.
when i tell you i don't speak spanish, and you proceed to ask me your question is very fast spanish without any hand gestures or visual aides, i still don't speak spanish.
letting your 10 year old swear in front of you, your husband, and me, multiple times, is really not okay.
stripping your 7 year old female daughter of all-read, ALL- her clothing because they're wet from the ride you decided to take her on and letting her walk around naked isn't advisable.
disney would LOVE to let you hand-feed their fully grown tigers.
the tiger paw i'm holding isn't a bear paw. no matter how many times you tell me it is.
that loud noise you heard isn't an elephant, nor does it sound like one. its a bird.
i don't look cute in the aforementioned costume. don't creepily wink at me. drink your dag gone beer and move on.
when i told you female komodo dragons don't need males to reproduce, i wasn't implying your marriage should end. at all.

but for all the idiots, bad parents, and stupid people i've seen, heard, and spoken with, there are the gems that seem to make it all the way back to asia with their sense and wits.  one mother--i swear she was the highlight of my day--didn't allow her boy to climb on the fence at all, pointed out every animal and asked him questions about them, and this kid knew! he was probably only 10, but he knew my animals and knew all my questions to him about the antler i was holding. the mother correctly called my peafowl peahens, not peacocks (because they're female) and correctly identified horns vs antlers, deer vs antelope, and deer vs cow.
another 8 or 9 year old kid made my day by knowing all about my fruit bats. told me everything. could have had my job.
another kid was an expert on komodos. he even knew how they hunted, and how what makes them deadly isn't poison (as he corrected his mother) its bacteria.

these people make my day. also anyone who laughs at my tiger overlook jokes. also anyone who asks about the bar-headed geese. also anyone with some common sense. end of story.

Blog Abstinence

it's not you, it's me. 

so don't take it personally. 

here's the cliffnotes:

my sister is having another baby girl!! name? undecided. 

however, miss lily thinks it should be ariel. nickname anybody?

i work in the most magical place on earth.  ANIMAL KINGDOM.  where the bats are gay and the tigers are lazy. flights of wonder humor has taken over my life (not funny), and i'm pretty sure the komodo wants me for a snack. however, i have yet to be christened in the aviary, so am i just the unluckiest person in the world or what? the blackbuck bucks are turning black, so here comes the beginnings of some awkward conversations with children, not that i'm not used to it in the bat house anyway.  its a little easier with bats to write it off as "fighting" though, and most kids will accept that. its the adults who are the immature ones, believe it or not (but really, believe it). the number of grown men i see in there giggling, pointing, and drinking beer is really quite disturbing. the number of their girlfriends who tell them they wish they had one that looked like that is equally so.  they are usually drinking beer as well. but my favorite lady was really very interested in their "fighting" so i kindly pointed out that we only have male bats (which is pretty obvious). she looked at me, for a couple of seconds, then guffawed loudly and told me that it was worth her entire ticket to see our gay bats at it. another little old british lady walked up to me and said, in a very english manner, "so, how often to the bats make love? because those two are really going at it." my eyes widened a bit on that one, but i kept my composure enough to tell her that we have all male bats and really they're raping each other. in a nice way. i mean i said it in a nice way, there's really no way for the rape to be nice. what with all the screaming that takes place.  ...nope. not going to say it. 

and if THAT wasn't cliffnotes, i don't know what is!  my apologies for the awkwardness that is this post, however, such is my life. 

proximity

because no matter how cool the tiger is that is in the back of the exhibit, the peahens (incorrectly called peacocks) always get the most attention because they're almost touchable.

Orange to Orange

did you know that orlando, florida is in the great county of orange?  it seems good ol' Walt had a bit of a sense of humor in picking his second location--orange to orange. or perhaps he just had a strange obsession with fruit.

well folks, i'm at DISNEYWORLD!  and its so unbelievably awesome its not even funny. i love my roommates. (for reals.)  i love my job. i love the weather. I LOVE DISNEYWORLD!

here's a general description of what i'm doing:  for at least 30-40 hours of my week i am working attractions at Disney's Animal Kingdom (DAK). i am a villager of anandapur, in the asia section of DAK.  anandapur is a fictional village set at the base of the himalayas.  on the maharajah jungle trek (where i live) you can see all kinds of different animals that can be found throughout asia (generally southeast asia) including tigers, giant bats, komodo dragons, blackbuck antelope, sarus crane, eld's deer, bar-headed geese, banteng, and many many species of exotic asian birds. all of which i know very much about-i am a knowledgeable and adept guide in anandapur.

the best thing ever though is just talking to the guests. while i was training still i had an addition to my nametag that said "earning my ears."  one time in the bat house, a kid walks up to me and says "you're in training." with his hands on his hips. i told him that yes, i was still learning, and he proceeded to fire questions at me about the bats in an effort to quiz me. thankfully i knew all his questions, but boy did i feel grilled. i love that though. i love talking to all the different people about conservation and the animals they see in front of them. and THAT'S MY JOB, people! they pay me for that! not very well, granted, but i still get paid!

its a wonderful life. 

how much is too much?

honesty, my dear fellow bloggers.    how much is too much?

what would you like to read on this blog?  so far as me creating a journal of events, i haven't been quite so honest. if i had, you would have known about what i like to call, my deepest secrets. not that they're really rather deep, nor are they secret from those i talk to on a regular basis.  but what should i be telling the blogging world, really?

my fear is of being an annoying blogger. in fact, that's my fear in every day life. would you like to hear the angst of a teenager? the feelings of a hormonal-almost-twenty-year-old? lets face it, no one really wants to hear that. right?  for my part i'm inclined to stick almost exclusively to the stuff that makes one laugh. and/or rather large events in my life. recently, however,  that doesn't make for frequent blogging. but i've never been one to publicly address my personal feelings. its uncomfortable. and no one likes to be uncomfortable.

but, maybe i could do uncomfortable.  maybe.

i'm about to be DISNEYIFIED

***people (anna) suggest that it should be disney-fied instead of disney-i-fied but i disagree. its disneyified to me. your thoughts?**

i'm getting ready to be disneyified!!  disney is coming up in 25 days.  the countdown is starting now.  i'm packing up all my belongings out of the apartment that i've lived in for almost an entire year now, and i'm getting ready to go home, go camping, hang out with some friends, and then go to disneyworld for one of the coolest adventures of my life.  its almost time!!

Cinderella

i suppose its about time i wrote about Cinderella, the play that has been commandeering most (aka all) of my free time since June.

at first i was reluctant.

(mine and scott's phone conversation in may)
scott: "you should come audition for Cinderella with me."
me: "Cinderella?  as in, Rodgers and Hammerstein?"
scott: "yeah that one."
me: "when are auditions?"
scott: "last saturday."
me: "well thanks for the heads up.  looks like i can't audition."
scott: "you can come tonight. its callbacks but they are hearing a few auditions beforehand."
me: "i can't make decisions that fast! i need to research it, think about it, my sister is in europe and i can't ask her! and my parents--"
scott: "just come."
me: "okay."
(there were quite a few more protests, but you have humored me enough.)


even after i auditioned, i tried to quit.  after all, i had 8 credits during a spring semester, 5 of which required 3 hours spent per credit, and the other 3 were organic chemistry.  i didn't exactly have the time to fiddle around with a play.  but at that point in time, i was, well, a bit depressed. for awhile even, i just sat in my room watching netflix when i wasn't on campus. i was still in utah, my friends were not. i had new roommates (not awful by any means, but it wasn't my amber and i hadn't known them for the previous 8 months) anna was gone, there was a budding/failing romance, and i was taking ochem over.  it was definitely not my best time. but then the play happened.

and, although i had to drive for almost 40 minutes in the hot heat of desert summer, it made me happy. once i got to know diana, i knew there was no going back.  we were practically connected at the hip for the duration of the play.  we were even referred to as "counterparts."

our parts were, well, pigs. we ate during every scene we were in.  after a box of creampuffs a night, diana totaled them to be about 300 consumed in all..definitely not all by us, but we ate the majority. i'd say about 100 were given away, stolen, and/or shoved down the prince's throat. we probably ate about 9 loaves of french bread, 9 baybel cheeses, and various fruits along with that--and that was only what was eaten on stage.  we got the most laughs out of the audience by far, except for maybe the stepsisters (who even then thought they needed to be funnier when they heard the audience laughing at us).

but really, it was the backstage show that was the icing on the cake. (which we also ate on stage.) during "do i love you" diana and i would be half dressed in the dressing room for our next scene when we would drop everything we were doing and sing once brenton (the prince) sang "I WANT YOU" during one part that we thought was ridiculous. we would sing it to each other and spin around in circles, dip, and possibly twirl a few times. then there was a lovely night, where we would be literally right behind the curtains dancing--diana and brenton take the cake on this. i'm so glad there is a video on facebook.

i guess what i loved the most though was selling wands with diana during intermission. not that i enjoyed the selling part, but the little girls that would run up to us and tell us we were so pretty in our ballgowns and how we looked like princesses. we would tell them that they were the ones who looked like princesses and they would just smile & giggle. it was adorable. one mom said it was even better than disneyland.

in all, it was really just wonderful.

Glue

i have, for awhile now, prided myself on being the "glue" of the family.
i probably shouldn't use the word 'prided' --rather, it makes me happy to see/do.
i'm the female middle child, which means i'm perfectly apt to be the family glue sticking everybody together.
here's the thing:
when i left home i thought i'd be so happy to get away from the house.  then i found myself extremely homesick with an awful roommate. then i wanted nothing more to be home, with my family.
so, with the miracle that is cell phones, i started my journey to becoming the Mattson Family Glue.

first, after having spent some time with the booths, i realized that when we hang up the phone we needed to end our conversations with "i love you" or "love you, bye."  i secretly implemented this in all my conversations with my family members.  they soon took the hint.  now we don't end a conversation without it. and its weird when we do. phase one: accomplished.

phase two:  i know my brother's password for his route Y account, so whenever we register for classes, i hack his account and look to see what classes he's signed up for.  then i sign up for one of the same ones.  eric & i usually have at least one class together a semester.

phase three: gmail and photoshop.  video chat on gmail is a dream come true--chatting it up with jenna and my lilykins (who yells at the computer for becca <3) is lovely when i can't be there with them. also: i become absolutely necessary for jenna, seeing as she only has photoshop elements and i have the real photoshop. which means i get to do her plentiful photoshop projects for her.

phase four: family history. i took a family history class last  semester and had a great time talking to my mom about it.  i also had the occasion to call my grandparents about it several times, therefore extending my reach as glue to another generation.  i really do love family history, too, and i love hearing any stories my grandparents have to offer.

phase five: facebook friends.  my cousins (all two of them) and my family aren't the best of friends. i added my cousin on facebook and on skype, and we occasionally chat. i couldn't find my second cousins or else i would have done that too--since they're probably who i really consider cousins most of all.

phase six: the bachelor/bachelorette. my aunt cami LOVES the bachelor/bachelorette.  its the only tv she will watch.  i always thought it was dumb...until my roommate wanted to "have" a tv show and she chose that one.  its easily addicting. but the best part is: it gives me a reason to call & talk with my aunt every monday night/whenever we get the chance to see it. i love our chats--we are, in many ways, in the same situation-except she actually has a boyfriend now!  i love talking with her about boys & life!  someday we will travel the world together. (wherever she hasn't already been!)

phase seven: calling daddy. i've been making a concerted effort to call my father--its a lot different than calling my mom (which i do almost daily), and if we get on the topic of school its generally not a fun conversation. but i love him nonetheless.

phase eight, still in progress: bryce.  we were close when i was home, because we were the only two siblings left in the house, but now that i'm gone we don't really speak.  and by close i mean when he bugged me i would hit him, and tell him to go away, etc-basic older sibling-itis. but we would have fun too.  usually when i was driving him somewhere, or something like that. it was nice.  for now, its only usually sunday phone calls.

aaand that accounts for my entire family.
all in all, i love my family.  and i love that i will be with them for eternity.

Fatal Frame

so one night after rehearsal, scott asks me if i'd like to go with him & some friends to play a game.  i thought: board, card, etc.  i said yes.   i was a bit confused when they pulled out the ps2, but i'm still up for it. no big deal.

at this point the lights are still on, people are still chatting, so its still no big deal when they pop in a game called "Fatal Frame."  (i only knew the name from googling it--otherwise i would have been scared by an anonymous video game.)  it doesn't look too bad, whatever, anime figures walking around a haunted mansion, still no big deal.  until the lights go out.  until the first "ghost" appears and starts attacking you.

at this point i may have been screaming, repeatedly, alternately "WHAT IS THAT!?" and "I DON'T UNDERSTAND!"  with perhaps a few "WHY!?"s thrown in.    i mean really, these things aren't pretty.

the worst is that the ghosts don't come very often.  there's almost 10 minutes sometimes of lull wherein you can be given false hope that the ghosts are gone. but i learned after the third crawling-out-from-under-the-porch-ghost to a) don't ever relax b) always be ready to shove the blanket in your mouth to scream and c) never let the blood flow back into scott's arm.  

i was the life of the party, let me tell you. 

by the end, scott had decided he did want feeling in his fingers and just held me and covered my eyes when a ghost came to prevent me from hyperventilating. this tactic proved useful, seeing as i didn't have my inhaler with me. 

why this entertains people is beyond me. 

but, have no fear, my lesson has been learned: keep inhaler handy at all times. 

Who'da thunk?

"Your snort is like an accent. Cute!" --Grant, at the ward ice cream social. (be impressed--i went!)

apparently i have an accent. when i laugh. and then, unattractively, snort.
i've never quite figured the draw, but hey--i'll take what i can get.

spring term.

good news!  its warming up!  (if it snows again, my wrath will be unleashed upon the universe.)

more good news! i'm doing mentored research in the lab with the woman veterinarian who will be working hardest to get me into vet school.  i'm pulverizing cow manure. yeah, just what i said.

extra good news!!  my niece says my name.  she points at the computer and cries for "BECCA!" when she wants to video chat with me.  i couldn't love her more.


bad news:  i miss people.  i miss my family. i miss anna.  i miss karina, lauren, maren. i miss jeff. i miss amber.  strangely enough i miss brandon.  i want to get out of provo.  i want to go to washington, and california, and idaho.  be that as it may, looks as if i'm stuck here for quite awhile.  weekend trips in the making?  i do believe so.

more bad news: i really miss my puppies.

BUT i have plenty to do here, with my frogs, ochem, and cow manure.  plus, i suppose, dating and social life...which mostly consists of me watching movies with my roommates.

Osama Bin Laden

is dead.

i'm not sure how i feel about it.  i mean, its good news certainly.  but the fact that the death of a person is ever good news is grating to me.  facebook would have you believe that America is the best country in the world because we've killed someone. the leader of a worldwide terrorist organization definitely deserves what he got, but the reaction of the masses is all wrong.  its not wrong to be cheerful at the prospect of an end to the war, but to be so happy that a person has been killed-and dwelling on that one fact alone-is. i fear that in writing this i will be seen as the worst form of non-patriotic trash there is, but someone has to say it.  if this means the end of the war then by all means, lets celebrate.  lets bring our troops home.  but if this is just another number in the ever growing tally of deaths caused by this war, there's really no reason to cheer. Obama's speech last night was good, but i'd like to hear more about bringing our soldiers home.

what i hate about long standing wars/world disasters is how easily they fade to the background of daily life.  i freely admit my guilt. i think about what i have been doing these past ten years and am almost ashamed that more of my time was not spent thinking about what was going on in the world, or how i could help.  our military doesn't get the credit they deserve daily, because we forget about them, being more concerned about us ,in our own little worlds.  growing up (since when 9/11 happened i was in 5th grade) i can remember times when the war on terrorism was mentioned that i was thinking, "Is that war in what's that place really still going on?"  i was a kid then, but now i'm an adult (so-to-speak), and had i not made friends in the military i would still be rather ignorant. 

so here's my question:  how can a poor college student, female, dependent on her parents, trying to get good grades, doing research on the side, trying to magnify her calling, improving her spiritual self, & trying to be social, help with a war or natural disaster? 

the awkward sidewalk passerby smile

walking back and forth to school has taught me that its awkward to make eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk.  and you dont want to look like the mean girl (as my mother would say) and i have been told i'm intimidating as it is, so i dont really need another reason to be so.

there are a few options when you see you are coming upon somebody you don't know.
option a: look down at the ground quickly, and only back up when you've passed said stranger.
option b: make eye contact but look away and down, pretending you didn't.
option c: make eye contact, smile the tight lipped no teeth doesn't reach your eyes "you're a stranger but i'm smiling even though i'm not actually happy to see you" smile.
option d: make eye contact, smile a real smile, then glance away or down and perhaps an awkward giggle.
option e: make eye contact, smile a real smile, and greet them.

i often end up going with option c.

but when there is someone who actually takes the initiative and does option e, its really something.  i can still remember the times when someone has genuinely greeted me on the sidewalk even though they don't have a clue who i am.  its those people who are really impressive.

but its so much easier to do option c. easiest would be a, but i can manage c every once in awhile.

oh dear. i really am the mean girl aren't i?

I. WENT. SKYDIVING.  

i was waiting to post this until i had put up my video to youtube so i could show you, but i'm too dumb for that.  i do have a pretty cool video though...just saying.

but lets start from the beginning. we signed our lives away...literally. if something happened we couldn't even sue for 21 years after our death! then we picked the music for our videos, met our dive instructors, geared up (my instructor (JC) was tightening something in back of me, and says to the other "Hey, did they fix this?" The other says, "Oh yeah, looks like they used duct tape to tape it up. That'll be fine."  then walks away....), and got on the plane.  the plane.  there were no seats but the pilot's, we sat on the floor in the laps of our instructors, (only the four of us, my aunt, me, and the instructors fit) and we took off with the door open.  and we probably went at least 1000 ft with it open. and then when it was closed there might as well have not been a door, since it was a plastic sheet thingy..all it did was shield us from the wind.  i was closest to the door. i literally had a birds eye view of everything going on around me--it was amazing!  as we gained altitude it got colder and colder, and by the height of 11,000 feet i was shivering-which was mistaken for nerves-but it was soo cold.  and then he says to put on my goggles and sit up in his lap, he hooks me in, then slides open the door, and says to swing my legs over the side.  sure, easy enough. until he slides me out off the edge, but we don't fall,  because you see---HE is still sitting on the edge, while i'm hooked to him and not moving but just dangling off the plane with nothing to hold onto. then he asks if i'm ready--what if i'm not?--but i am, and we fall.  i think my dad did the math, and if i remember correctly, i believe he said we were traveling at 160 mph during the free fall.  which was 40 seconds.  i guess i was screaming (not in fear, as my dad likes to insinuate) but i was having so much fun.  my poor instructor. my father says he could hear me from the ground.  also, i'm pretty sure i was senseless as to most of what was going on around me, since he said he would tap me on the arm when i was supposed to open my arms, but after tapping me twice he just ripped them off the harness himself. then the parachute opens, and well that kinda hurts around the crotch area when you are stopped midair by the harness that is around both your thighs. the chest strap also was choking me on the way down, but no biggie. it didn't really matter--it was just incredible.  he let me drive the parachute too, and that was awesome. i drove it through a cloud. then landing was fun--i just kinda slid while my instructor kind of tripped over me..not sure what i was really supposed to do but that was good enough. i was on the ground anyway.

long story short..IT WAS AWESOME!

i guess life is funny sometimes.

last summer i started digitizing my parent's home videos, since they're on VHS and, well, of course thats out of style.  right now i'm watching my sister singing in a high school choir concert...i have to say, it sounds rather awful.  she looks very pretty though. (hopefully that will appease her for saying that it sounds bad.)  even though her t-shirt is tucked into her jeans. but its the end of the year 2000--i might give her a break for that one.  soon this tape will turn into our cancun trip, and thats what i want to see at the moment.  oh now she has a solo--which of course doesn't sound bad, since we have such a similar voice they wouldn't let us audition together for music man. whats funny is that the last tape (or was it two tapes ago?) i watched her duck dance when she was probably 5 or 6 and she wiggled her butt at the camera quite a bit.  always performing. :)

whats surreal is watching people who are dead now. my aunt leson died of breast cancer not too long ago.  technically she's not my aunt, she's my cousin once removed. (my dad's cousin.) but when i was little we spent a lot of time with her and uncle ken and their kids, alyse, james, austin, and emma.  but then we didn't.  being young i didn't really understand.  i still don't really understand.  they got divorced, moved away, she left the church, and we didn't see them for a long time.  then aunt leson was diagnosed with cancer.  i saw her once when she stayed with my grandparents. then she died, and the funeral was held in colorado.  i had school; in my family, that means i didn't go.  my dad went. they were close.  already tonight he's mentioned twice how strange it is to see her so full of life as she was back when the videos were taken. he says its hard to reconcile with the image of her at her funeral.

i guess life is funny sometimes.  

the best way to see the time change is in the dogs.  when jenna was little (25 [or so] years ago) we got barkley.  the only way i remember him is in his old age when he could hardly stand up on his own, but today i saw him as a young dog running around while jenna rode her bicycle with training wheels (and crashed) and little eric had flaming red hair and a new scar next to his eye.  i'm looking at my old old black lab ephraim right now--he's got gray hairs under his chin and between the pads of his feet and his breath smells like old man, but today i saw him as 10-11 week old puppy on my 8th birthday in 1999. 

it seems to me getting old, grown up, & responsible is too much of a hassle. where did i sign up for this again?

ps. why do choirs always sing pieces that are too high for the sopranos in them?

something hit me in the head while i was

walking home from my last class of the winter 2011 semester.


some fly thing must have been the culprit.

but the point i wanted to get across was that the semester is OVER!
almost.

spring beauty

i don't think i noticed this last time around, but spring is beautiful!  i'm not sure i can say that its worth the snow, but it is definitely a nice treat after being so harshly dealt with during the winter.
yesterday i stepped out of the wibby after handling my froggies, and there had just been a nice little rainfall, so it smelled wonderfully of wet asphalt--the clouds were only a bit in front of the sun and you could see the silver lining in all of them. there was a slight breeze, the kind that tugs at you playfully, and the temperature was probably 65 degrees, perfect.  as i was walking home i noticed the green sprouting everywhere, little buds on all the trees that have been barren for so long, the mountain is turning greener, and the daffodils along the path home are annoyingly beautiful.  i wanted to skip and sing-in fact i did do just that.


so how does it seem fair that finals is next week?