Friends

While I'd like to say I'm a really good friend, I get the feeling sometimes that I'm not.

The most common phrase I hear from my friends is "Why haven't you been around lately?" or rephrased in perhaps a "Where have you been all my life?" or "Why haven't I seen you in forever??" sort of way.

Well, to answer a few questions, here's why:
Today's schedule consisted of:
Trying to get up at 6:43, failing
Getting up at 8, showering, getting ready, leaving at 8:45, without eating
Getting to Zumba at 9:00, dancing horribly (but having fun) until 10:30
Climbing the RB stairs (noteworthy), changing, trying not to look as if I'd just been sweating buckets, arriving at surgery at 10:45
Making solutions until 11:25
Cutting up and sewing up Bronco until 11:49
Waiting for her to wake up/studying/cleaning up the frog room/making lists/grabbing vending machine food until 1:00
Microbiology lab until 2:12 (we got out early)
Talking to Grant for a few minutes afterwards about bears until 2:32
Taking two Microbiology quizzes on the new LearningSuite until 3:10
Running into Lorraine on campus for five minutes until 3:15
Fighting the Women's Conference Wilkinson traffic for ceramics supplies until 4:00
Getting to the Marlboro at 4:05
Calling my dad/re-reading notes and writing Cornell notes until 4:25
Microbiology class from 4:30-6:30 (We got out early.)
Running home to avoid the rain until 6:50
Not wanting to see anyone or do anything until 8:39, current time.

And that's just a Thursday. Don't get me started on Mondays.

Honestly, I hardly had time to eat. Then I get home, its nice, quiet, dark, serene, I'm finally full, I put on comfortable clothing, took off shoes...and I'm sort of in heaven. I revel in this, sparingly, but indeed I do. My roommates are gone for quite some time and ...well, living alone has its perks. I don't even feel like picking up my clothes even, because no one else has to see it. That's weird, that living alone can do that.

I should be a hermit.

Dear Change,

Go to a very bad place, please.

I don't like you. And finals brings you with it. Which adds to my dislike of you. You take people from me. You add new challenges. You make me uncomfortable. You make me sweat. You make me crave carbs. You make me leave what I love. All of these things are not pleasing. Could you just cut it out, for once?

Regards, Becca.

Here's the thing. I'm losing a lot of people I love here at BYU, and its not so pleasant. Who thought it was a good idea to get attached to people you only know for a couple months? (Same thing goes for Disney, but it was all so rushed at the end I didn't have time to mourn.) So, for my sake, I'm going to put down their names here so I will remember them when I'm old and grey.

Blake Hansen. Fellow surgeon.
Justin Jones. Oocyte researcher.
Nalani Yamada. Pre-Vet club president.
Jesse Ford Jenny. Pre-Vet club vice president.
Cory Davis. Pre-Vet student.
Eric. He's graduating..but I don't suppose I can count him as being gone quite yet.
Aimee Fresh. Roommate.
Countless ward members. Jeremy, Brodie, Stopher, Tek, Tyler, Ian, Dalan, Ryan, Grant, Trent, Phil
Bishop Clark.
And from Disney, to commemorate.
Katie Hemby.
Megan Sirrine.
Laura Leavy.
Lindsay Bailey.
Josiah Rupp.
Ryan Hallquist.
BJ Thompson.
Chelsea Howell.
Supriya Malik.
Tanisha Prabhu.
Amber Zuniga.
Belle Laotrakul.
Kerati Wu.
Elder Gregson.
Elder Engemann.


And I'm sure I'm missing a few. It's hard to think of the people you miss. Not going to lie, I'm a good compartmentalizer. When I'm not choosing to dwell, I'll be just fine. Which sometimes I hate, because it feels insensitive. But one can't mope forever, can she?
Just for a few hours. Late on a Thursday night.

Some other things I'm going to miss once the semester is over: Ornithology. Plant ID-The class I love to hate. Safety Certification. Little responsibility for the Pre-Vet club. No class on Tuesdays.  Going birding.

To name a few.
But, not to be a total Debbie Downer, I'm actually excited for quite a few things as well. There has to be some balance, eh? And change does do some good, I suppose...I just haven't gotten to that stage of grief yet. Acceptance, they call it?  We'll see how I feel in the morning.