One Hundred: Happy Christmas

I've been trying to put off this blog post for awhile, thinking nothing i was doing at the moment was number 100 blog worthy. but i found something that is.

Family.

you know, i think i took it for granted, my family. but now its christmas eve, and i couldn't love them more. we just had our swedish Smörgåsbord and it was fantastic. i love the swedish tradition, and my papa (grandpa) told us about our heritage and stuff, and then we had a little christmas program with numbers and chimes and it was rather complicated, but it was great anyway.

amazing. and now christmas, the best day of the year. because really, the feeling of love goes way beyond. its not like it was when i was little, when i was jealous that my brother got a certain toy and i didnt. but now i just love watching my family open all of my presents i gave to them. [is that a sign of maturity? crap. who said i wanted to be mature?] i suppose i have college to blame. i missed them something awful when i was gone. i dont even like college that much. its not so great, no, not at all.

well anyway, i don't have much words for this topic. just that. i love them. thats all. the end.

happy christmas everybody! (ps. only if you're british.)

New Beginnings, Old Endings.

no, this isnt about some cheesy church ritual.

just life.

i love starting new things. its exciting and has so many unexplored possibilities, its endless! whether its starting a new semester, or starting a new major, or a new job, new relationships, new nieces, etc.

but that doesnt mean i love endings. in fact, i hate them. why do things have to end for new things to start? i don't understand. well, okay, theres the time input, and the fact that you have to progress to the next level to get anywhere, but i dont like it. of course, i want this semester to end. it's been the bane of my existence for awhile now. but today was my last set of classes i had with eric. we had three classes together all right in a row. does this mean were basically not going to see each other anymore next semester? because now i've changed my major, we dont have any of the same classes. if i'd stayed with con bio, we would have a lot of the same, but i didnt.

and really, thats another thing. today in bio we were talking about biodiversity and it made me sad. i really, really love that line of discipline. but i know i didn't make the wrong choice in switching, seeing as i hadn't even considered nursing till all of a sudden a random thought pops in my head telling me i should do it. i've been to enough church to know you don't ignore those types of thoughts. i prayed about it too. multiple times. its right for me. (does Heavenly Father start getting annoyed when i repeatedly ask him? i know he didn't like it so much when Jo asked him three times about letting his buddy martin have some proof for his unbelieving wife, but can my situation be the exception, please? so i can ask again tonight?) it means giving up my dream of chasing and conserving new species all over the world-but gained a dream of joining Doctors without Borders and saving peoples lives instead of animals. i guess its a fair trade off. sometimes i think i still like animals more than people. okay, i do like animals more than people. but this is what i'm supposed to be doing. i'm just glad i got the hint early enough, so i didn't have to spend 7 years of my life here. Thanks, HF.

even now, i look back at high school and i am kinda sad it ended..but not really. maybe its a love/hate relationship? i really don't understand my own feelings. but i look back at things and i just miss them. is that normal? i hated it while i was there. even the little things, though, like one simple semester of school, 6 classes that end. i'm sad they have to end. but i'm excited for the new one.

i've got issues with endings.

well, here's an update.

-i love my baby niece. she's the best. i'm not kidding. if you've got a niece, she's nowhere near as good as mine. (unless you're my aunt.) ;D

-i was so happy to see my family at thanksgiving! i was forgetting what it was like to be with them. but i remember now. highly annoyed by bryce ( i thought my leaving would change that?), elbow fights with dad over the baby, and couldnt get enough of my mommy. good talks with the aunt, funny grandparents. yay for bro-in law! stupid thumb of his. oh and sister. don't see her enough. and of course, all of them bothering me about homework.

-it snowed. and i dont hate it as much as i thought. in fact, the snow is beautiful. and with my new boots i can walk in it. and not have my feet be cold. (most important factor on how i feel towards snow: how cold i am.) so if i dress right, i really love the snow that stays on the ground.

-home and christmas is in the near future. :D oh happy days. i'll be home for christmas. :)

Social Butterfly Much?

So this weekend, instead of working (at all) i partied.

No lie.
No really, i'm not kidding.
i actually got out in society. i didnt stay in my dorm room.

Friday: Divine comedy with the hardey's. LOVED it. went to a party with brandon. & his old mission companion he's trying to set me up with. boys. played signs for hours. i SUCK. dont ever pass the stupid sign to me.

Saturday: snow. cried. because of snow. took the car & went to wal-mart. first time i've driven my baby since we got back from malaysia!! <3 you neville. :)

Sunday: made pumpkin bread, drove the car back, gave pumpkin bread to eric & scott, got stuck at scotts going to his ward dessert social, met nate from dance!, got roped into doing a talent show with scott and others at his ward, demanded to be taken home, took more pumpkin bread to FHE brothers (one of whom just broke his ankle.) chatted for awhile, came home, took more pumpkin bread to girls next door (LOVE ANNA) and am finally here.

now thats what i call social.
its a big step people.
now, all of this was rather reluctant. so maybe thats next on the "to do" list.

The Reason Why I Cry At Night.

Need I say more? :(

official.

so many things became official this past week!

first of all, mine and jordan's marriage is official. i mean, its on facebook.

second. my major is official. i changed it to pre-nursing and it says it on my routeY now!

third. i'm officially a hermit. must. get. good. GPA.

fourth. i'm officially not a big fan of parties. especially where i know no one and they are all wayyy older than me.

fifth. i found the third season of veronica mars online. can you say addiction? thats not really official, its just some news. :)

What's This??

Oh look!
What's this?
They're hanging mistletoe; they kiss?
Why that looks so unique, inspired
They gather round to hear a story
Roasting chestnuts on a fire
What's this?


My new favorite movie.

go watch it. i actually just saw it for the first time today, all the way through.

I love Tim Burton!!

vehement.

ve⋅he⋅ment
1.zealous; ardent; impassioned
2.characterized by rancor or anger; violent
3.strongly emotional; intense or passionate
4.marked by great energy or exertion; strenuous


i vehemently hate the weather.

i vehemently hate the fact that i cannot get an A on a test since i got to BYU (minus BOM, but that doesnt count.)

i vehemently hate the fact that i procrastinate and am now trying to make up for it.

i vehemently hate that even though i say now it wont happen again, its pretty much guaranteed.

i vehemently hate the fact that i'm in utah while my baby niece is in cali..and strange people are meeting her before i am.

i vehemently love the fact that thanksgiving is coming up.

i vehemently love the hardey kids.

i vehemently love spending time at the booths and holding baby robert while watching movies.

i vehemently love the fact that my ridiculous brother wears girls fur coats and makes me laugh everyday.

i vehemently love that my mother secretly really does want me to come home over halloween-but wont say it out loud cause she wants me to succeed.

i vehemently love that my wonderful sister is secretly encouraging me to come too.

i vehemently love that my family loves me.

i vehemently love that i can always call them when i need them.

i vehemently love that i'm more connected to the spirit here than ever.

i vehemently love that the good seem to outweigh the bad.

Can I Be Greg Mortenson Please?

i got dreams you know. those ones that can only happen if you're really determined-and sorta rich. i wanna travel around the world and build schools for Pakistani girls too! greg mortenson gave one of the best devotionals-ever. rather personalized for me, i think. he wrote the book called Three Cups of Tea, which i am now determined to finish. i started it, but things kept getting in the way. but he met some children in Pakistan who were tracing things in the dirt, and they asked him to build them a school. why can't i do something epic like that? but..i can. i'm very, very determined. this will be a goal in my life. somewhere, somehow, i'll make a difference. you better watch out. this girl is gonna do something big.

mark my words.

Eureka!

that means i have found it, right?

cuz thats what i meant. i figured out how i can study. i figured it out! and with the help of my old friend Chopin, and my wonderful sisters old and crappy iPod, i can consistently work with minimal interruptions! since i got home from school (10-1) and work (1-3) i've been working. with a break for cookies and a break for FHE. great, right?

the music drowns everything out! and if not, just turn it up louder till it does. including, but not limited to: annoyingly homework-less roommates who want to have fun, the flushing of the toilet, the sound of the kitchen making something delicious, doors opening, neighbors yelling, interesting conversations. etc. basically, it drowns out even the semblence of a social life i have even with my roommates. maybe now i can get that 3.8?

what wonderful inventions earbuds are.

Necessities Aren't Really Necessary.

things like :


1. hygiene
2. eating
3. sleeping
4. socializing
5. exercising
6. going to the bathroom


so i'm going to give up on them all together. capeesh?

Malaysia, the Adventures of

i figured it was about time to post about the rest of the Malaysia Mattson family adventures! and seriously, they are some adventures. we don't go halfway with vacations. even when dad was real sick he was still going..not very well, but still going. we have to get everything in! humanly possible. well not even that, because i'm sure some of it was wayy too much for the average person. i even had to take a break. a beautiful one, in the morning on the sunny island of mabul. :) so i regret a few things about this trip: that i didnt take good pictures, and that we didnt have our good camera so i was using my crappy 7.1 megapixel camera for all these pictures. well some of them are better and from eric's nicer camera. but here's what i got, people!




the very beginning!! the view of singapore from our hotel room. we arrived at the airport and my mom started asking if we wanted gum; until eric reminded her its against the law. then we get to the hotel room and see its MUCH nicer than what we had in mind...rather amazing. (we dont spend money on the unnecessary things like good hotel rooms.)



first day in singapore, getting on the singaporean subway thingy. (MRT)

these next three are the most ridiculous things i've ever seen. in singapore, they have these signs on the MRT that say to let people off first. this lady looks crazy!

and this guy? HAS AN AFRO. and what is play, play? anyone heard of the game? at least i think its a game. our resident expert couldnt even tell us what play, play was.

He has a mole. and is wearing rainboots. and an afro.

This is singapores .. mascot? a merlion. a mermaid and a lion. i read something about why, but honestly can't remember.

This is arab street. in singapore there are different places where you can find different kinds of communities, and here we find most muslims in singapore. amazing, yes?

also a muslim thing. this is a hair salon, for muslim women who need their hair cut. men can't come in because muslim ladies can' t be seen by a man without a headscarf on.




these are a bunch of hawker stalls we ate at in singapore. pretty cool. there was a stall for just about everything. the food was good, except i accidently got liver because it looked like beef or something..and i gagged on it for a good long time. no liver for me. eric made me eat it. he took my drink away until i swallowed too. what a jerk!

we finally made it to malaysia! after going through customs and getting on an off a bunch of buses, we made it through. we were in johor bahru, and met a bunch of people from eric's mission and went to church...but that was covered in the last post about the people. then we rented a car...and daddy drove. however, there are a few things that malaysia has picked up from the UK...namely driving on the wrong side of the road.

needless to say, i was scared for my life.

we went to KL next..kuala lampur, the capital of malaysia. its a lot like a normal city there. there was a mall right across the street from our hotel, and thats where mom and i bought our muslim dresses we have. but then we went to a canopy walk, which is where we found this lovely huge leaf..i love rainforests.

the canopy walk was a bunch of boards held together by rope. i was a little nervous, but i love heights, and there was something to hang onto, so i was good.

view of KL from the canopy walk

sooo sweaty. the rainforest doubles the humidity, and we had just hiked UP to the canopy.









that same day we went to Batu caves. these statues are Hindu gods. there are a lot of them, and they're crazy. i did the batu caves pictures backwards..sorry. this is at the top of the stairs, the stairs are further down.

batu caves is a lot like the Hindu people making a theme park out of their religion..they have lines and everything so you can go see the shrines. and music playing in the background.

this was on the stairs going up to batu caves. those monkeys werent even scared of us! that was eric acting like a monkey.

the steps were numbered. it was great. 272 steps to get to the caves.

i got some daaaang good pictures of those monkeys, and i'm sooo happy with them..if only i had the good camera. hahah.

that night, we also went to see the twin towers of KL. they're pretty cool. dad thought this up the nose shot would be cool...but i think its just an up the nose shot. it looks like were giants too.

they were impressive.

next day we went to a butterfly museum! i took a lot of fantastic pictures here too..and figured out how to use the macro on my camera pretty nicely.

we also went to an orchid place..but there was a lily and i had to take a picture, becuause its going up in my niece's room now :)

we finally made it to Kuching. (Kuching was my favorite place, ever!!) we went to semengoh and we saw the orangutangs feeding there!

this is the best picture i could get of them. this is when i missed my camera the most.

another place in Kuching was the Sarawak cultural village we went to. i played mancala with an old malay woman. i beat two muslim girls in a game of stick dancing, and i shot a balloon in front of an audience with a blowpipe. great experience.

delicious place. we stopped there during our visit to the cultural village. their lemon chicken? to die for. this is also the starting place for many hikers going on a trek into the rainforest.

traditional iban style clothing. i wore one of these that one of eric's friends from the mission made.

next day in Kuching, we went across the water on a boat to Baku National Park. its a jungle! soo cool. there was a sign on the dock where we got on the boat though, that said "Awas: Life Jackets Must be Worn Beyond this Point." there were none to be seen on the boat. the next thing it said on the sign was "Awas: Danger of Crocodiles." While on the dock, i picked up a little kitten and was petting it, and a lady waves at me and says "You come to Kuching, you take kuching home." kuching means cat. that explained the big golden statues of cats everywhere too.

this sign was fun. naughty monkeys! which they were. we were in Baku national park, and they would come right up to you and steal your food. fast as lightning too! the people who worked at the cafe place had slingshots, but could never hit them.






one of the culprits.







this is about the only picture we have of our time on the lovely island of Mabul. this is where our dive resort was, and probably the loveliest week of the trip. everyone carried our gear for us, and we got to see the wonders of the underwater world while doing non of the work! we saw cuttlefish, (AMAZING) and a pygmy seahorse, and a regular seahorse..at which our dive master was screaming underwater about, becuase he hadnt seen one in three years. there were TONS of seaturtles, tons of sharks. wall dives are my favorite ever, too. there is unlimited amount of water below you and its so trippy! i love it so much. we saw a tornado, a HUGE tornado of barracuda too..man that was amazing. this was at sipidan. one of the wonders of the world. or something like that. haha. this picture is the boys going on a night dive..i should have gone, but i was having a mental overload. or family overload. take your pic. mom and i had a nice night though. i also skipped one of the morning dives, to relax by myself..it was a welcome interruption. it was here that i got so tan, too. (here in utah, i've lost all pigment i gained there. why??) but we did three dives a day, for a week. or five days, actually. but it was lovely. pure loveliness.

we dont have any pictures of Tawau, but we werent there very long. We do have pictures of the rest of the time we spent in Singapore, though. This is at the Japanese bonsai gardens. my dad loves bonsai. almost as much as i love this japanese statue man.

i figured i'd get some family shots in here. eric was having ear problems by this time. his ears just hurt him so bad.







these are all in singapore, the gardens. bryce was sick too by the end. not nearly as bad as dad, but he was.

daddy was the worst of us all, but he smiled for the pictue! he really does love bonsai. he had to go to urgent care when we got back. travelers sickness isnt pretty, people. dont get it. i was actually the only one unscathed from the whole trip.

some pretty bonsai.

happy mom :)

in the gardens we saw a gila monster! he was cool.

a japanese something or other.

another something or other. he was my friend.

our layover was in tokyo, so we went and had a peek at the fish market. the people in there try to run you over with their weird cart things, i swear! probably becuase were white. and that fish head is HUGE, right? crazy.

anyway, thats our trip in a nutshell. or at least the sightseeing portions of it. i love malaysia soo much! i'd rather be there than here. so much. i even like the humidity and weather better than provo. its ridiculous here! i have a special place in my heart for malaysia now. <3 sorry for all the pictures! but it took me forever, you ya'll better appreciate it.

Life is hard?

thats news to me.

i swear no one told me it was going to be this hard. (but my parents say they did.)

i suppose half of it was my fault.

maybe i shouldnt have tried to do everything at once. maybe i should have slowed down, listened to the spirit, and done the major thing right-the first time. maybe i should have gotten on top of things right from the start, and i wouldnt be in the position i am now. maybe i should be looking at things ahead of the due date, not after it passes by. maybe i should have read my chemistry exam closer, and not made 4 stupid mistakes. maybe i should have not looked at the screen to see my biology test score. maybe i shouldnt have taken a job at the insect lab.

but would it be half as fun?

actually, probably more fun. and not so stressful. but whats a few extra pounds? everyone loves that. maybe i'll just stick to the phrase "learning experience." no one likes that. but it suits.

and now, i'm out to get a 3.8 GPA (at least) and get accepted into the nursing program. who would have thought? the animal girl, being a people person? it is strange. but right. it might just kill me though. if not literally, it will almost certainly take its toll on my figure. good thing nurses wear scrubs.

chris.

needless to say, i'm struggling a bit. but with some good music, and some actual sleep, i should get back on my feet here soon.

on the brighter side. my hair's short. i love it. i think i'll cut it even shorter soon. don't cry karina. but if i travel to any foreign country (which is a certainty) it will inexorably be cut off. mercilessly and without regrets.

i'm thinking of spending the summer either in africa (http://www.help-international.com/) with orphans or HIV positive people, or in renton, WA. i'll be the best aunt EVER.

and my baby is adorable. little lily!!