who thought finals were a good thing?

honestly? no.


this week sucks. until thursday at 10:39.
then freeeeedoom.
& formal.

i. am. exhausted.

anthrax&potties.

dont get along. add this to my vendetta against toilets. although it could really be called karina's vendetta against toilets. because this is FUNNY.

so were going to a movie night at jeff's house. and were gonna take a ride in his sister's convertible. and karina(anthrax) of course has to go to the bathroom. a minute later, she is yelling "jeff. JEFF! JEFF!!!" and lauren and i knew exactly what was up. jeff turns the corner and sees her open the door and watches the water spill out into the hallway. yes. she flooded his toilet. lauren and i could not stop laughing, and poor jeff had to clean it up. while laughing. we tried, honestly, to help, but there were too many butts in the bathroom and to be perfectly honest, we were doubled over with laughter and not much help at all. i think the best comment of all was his mother saying "I'm so glad you could join us ladies!" then laughing. it was the best. sooo funny. and i love it. best story EVER!

and yeah. karina, i told the world your embarrassing story. too bad i know youre not really embarrassed by it. but maybe you will be by this: (as a rebuttal to the one you posted)

she's single(ish) boyss!! <3

shop happy. shop now!!

http://www.layersclothing.com/

karina and i were looking at this website. a clothing website. and the homepage, above, is a slideshow of pictures and if you click on it it goes into the catalouge of clothing. well, i didnt know that you had to click on it. so i'm staring at this slideshow, waiting for it to change into something i can look at, while the middle of the page says "shop happy. shop now." and i'm just confused, while karina is getting more and more frustrated just sitting there watching me zone out and this slideshow going..so she yells, "shop happy shop now!!!" trying to get me to click on it, but i still didnt really get it..so she yells it again. "SHOP HAPPY SHOP NOW!!" and it was hilarious.

ohhh good times. gooood times.

ps. this is blog # 50. exciting, right?

biotechnology!!!

so, no joke, i'm a biotechnologist now. i love it. today i get to zero period and the package we were waiting for had arrived! so now we could finish our lab.

we had started this lab by making a cocktail of enzymes, buffer, and lambda DNA. three different enzymes, one control. these were in microliters too. we used micropipets and everything. they look a little like this:yeah. theyre nifty. you set it to how much you want to suck up, then it automatically will take in only that much. its pretty nice. especially considering were talking wayyy less that water droplet size. well we make these cocktails and then we put them in a gel electrophoresis machine thingy. which looks like this:

and then, you load the gels (which looks like a flat rectangle of jello with holes from a comb on one side.) you load them by micropipetting the enzyme/DNA into the holes from the comb. then putting the side with the DNA in it on the negative(black) side because DNA has a slightly negative charge and will travel through the gel matrix to the positive side, the smaller pieces of the DNA being the farthest travelling when you pump it with about seventy five (it varies) volts of electricity. then you stain the gels with ethidium bromide, which binds to the phosphate bonds of DNA. then when you shine ultraviolet light through them the DNA lights up. heres the results of my experiment! seriously i took this picture of my DNA results today. its fascinating. and super cool!!!!

the bands are the DNA. ISNT IT COOL!?!?!?!??!

by the way. this was more for my pleasure than for anyone elses, so sorry-ish. well no. but i thought it would be a nice touch. and if it didnt make sense, like i was just rambling, which i was, it makes sense to me so thats all that matters. :)

pizza & apples. to apples.

even though i'm a loser and lost the game miserably, it was a great day. ditto to the whole weekend. even when i was rudely woken up and dragged to Albert tacos somewhat against my will (not really. i loved it.).


so minus school, and waiting for college to accept or reject, i'm completely happy. really. its interesting. to say the least.

so here's a shout out to all the people who are important in my life. you make my days. always. thank you!

i can't grow up.

i dont think its possible.

when my daddy can still tickle me out of a bad mood from a bad day, i dont think i have the right to grow up.
i love you daddy! happy birthday (tomorrow).

my aquatic dream

so i was thinking about aquariums not too long ago one night right before i fell asleep..and i had the best dream i have ever had.

it started out, well, at the aquarium, what a surprise! i was sitting in front of the otter's cage and i could hear them talking, so i started a conversation with them. they're pretty brutal animals, by the way, not very nice. and i'm serious..they arent very nice, even in real life. but they were mean, so i moved on. i saw the octopus, and talked to him, but he was too smart. then i talked to the dolphins and sea lions. they were amazing. and fun. and they told me i should join them. so i did, of course! and i was transported to the ocean. the big blue, thats the one. no more tanks. i was in the most beautiful alcove, standing on the rocks on shore looking out at the ocean, when a friendly whale pops up. he said i should join him on a tour of his home, and how could i refuse? i had no need of breathing in dreams anyway. it was, quite frankly, amazing. the ocean is beautiful, with its crystal clear blues and greens and my friend the whale next to me. we saw a kelp forest and the sandy bottoms, the rock bottoms, and the reefs..and of course the dropoff point where the deep meets the shallow. it was more than beautiful. but then, our trip had to come to an end. the friendly whale dropped me off at my alcove and i told him how beautiful his home was. and he said, yes, it is beautiful, isnt it? but we also have predators and ugly things in the beauty. i told him it was better than my home, anyway. minus the predators.

then i woke up.
but it was gooood while it lasted. i love dreams. :)

i had a request

for my talk, because eva missed it. and this is just for you eva st.clair! otherwise it makes me a little uncomfortable posting it.. i dont know why. i shouldnt be uncomfortable posting my testimony, right? well here it is. (picture me crying through the whole thing, and you kind of get the gist of it.)

Why I believe in Christ.

First of all, I believe in Christ with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I know he lives and loves me. But why? While preparing for this talk I had to deeply think about my testimony and where it came from. It wasn’t a sudden thing; it didn’t come as a surprise. It was slowly built, wavering at times, but always there.

I believe in Christ because I was born of goodly parents, who raised me to know and love Him. They took me to primary and made me sit still through sacrament meeting, keeping me on the straight and narrow until I was able to do it on my own. I am so thankful to them for that. They are still my guidance, as I go through my personal trials, and without fail, they help me back to Christ and his love.

I believe in Christ because I have friends who are strong in the faith and keep me grounded in my beliefs. I know that without them, my testimony would be struggling. They all have His light in their eyes.

I believe in Christ because I attend my church meetings. Between Sunday meetings, seminary, and mutual, a good chunk of my week is devoted to the Church, which in turn strengthens my testimony of the living Christ. In seminary this year, we are learning about the New Testament. We talk about the Savior and His life everyday, and everyday the spirit touches me, and I know again that it is true. He did die for me. He does live for me.

I believe in Christ because I have Young Women leaders and Sunday school teachers and seminary teachers who teach me what I need to know to emulate Him. They take time out of their busy schedules to further my testimony and to make sure, to the best of their ability, that I will make the right decisions, so that I can return to Him and be worthy to stand in his presence.
I believe in Christ because I believe in personal revelation. I struggled, a while back, with my testimony, and whether I believed. I prayed, and prayed, and I prayed frustrated that I wasn’t getting the answer I wanted. Finally I made some changes in the way I lived my life.. I strived to read the scriptures more, I tried to ponder them, and retain what I read for more than five minutes. I finally received an answer, while reading my scriptures one night. A thought came into my head that told me “You’re doing just fine.” And I could feel His arms around me, comforting me as a father comforts his child.

I believe in Christ because anything that makes me feel this way has to be true. I can’t deny that I have, often times, felt the burning of the bosom and the happiness of knowing my Savior.

I believe in Christ because I know Him. I have felt his presence, I have felt his love. He loves each and every one of us, and he knows us personally. This I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

internet withdrawls.

i've been having a few, i'll admit. our internet isnt working great, even still, and i'm taking my chances being on here, but i just couldnt help it. i havent been on since, like, last wednesday. its not cool, my friend, not cool. it just all of a sudden stops working for no reason..it should be fixed for good sometime tomorrow or today or sometime pretty soon. hopefully. although maybe it is a good thing..apparently i CAN survive without it..not very happily, and only if i ask other people for my assignments in some classes that are all online..but its not a happy experience. i'd rather have the world at my fingertips-all the time. its quite a reassuring thing. i've had many things happen that i thought, oh i'll just get on the internet and figure that out...but NO, i couldnt. it was slightly terrible.

on a totally different note, today was stressful. but pretty okay, after all. i stressed way too much about it, i can say now, as i look back and see that it really wasnt that much of a big deal..okay so maybe it was. but i'd like to let go of all that stress and be happy that it turned out somewhat well. today was stake conference. and i was assigned a solo to sing AND a talk to give. i sang the second verse of I Stand All Amazed, and then, right after pretty much, i gave a talk about why i believe in Christ. my mother says it was really good because she looked out at the congregation and saw a lot of tissues going around. personally i couldnt see a thing, i could barely read the talk even. but she was crying too, so i dont know how she saw them all. the most touching though, was afterwards, when president mackay gave me a hug for about a minute, and he wouldnt let me go, and i could feel him crying. he's so sweet. and brother reed, calling me and choking up as he tried to tell me how much he appreciated my talk. i honestly didnt think it would make that big of an impact, but i've been getting calls all day thanking me for the talk..i've never had that happen before. its an odd feeling. thinking that i might have impacted someone today that i wouldnt even know about. a good odd though, i'd say. all in all, it wasnt as bad as i imagined it could have been..i saw all sorts of scenarios run through my head before it all happened, seeing every way that this could go terribly wrong, but i was praying all morning--most literally keeping a prayer in my heart today. and it went smoothly. i thank Him for that. and i think i could use a little break from the public speaking thing for QUITE awhile now...i suggested that to president smith, but he said it doesnt work like that..maybe i'll get lucky.

5 months & 10 days...

until i'm free from the dictatorship of dr carpenter's oppressive rule. until all seniors of cypress high school are free!

JUNE 15th, baby. JUNE 15th!!

it is five months, isnt it? dont tell me if it isnt. i can't even think about actually trying to do the math right now..i just heard a girl say it in my english class. so i took her word for it.

no biggie, right?

so last night, my co-worker texted to tell me that she had gotten into a car crash and wouldnt be able to go to work today. i said okay. no biggie, right? we only had two appointments scheduled for that day. no problem. our boss wasnt there either, it was just us manual laborers and the vet. piece of cake. we could handle two measly appointments spread out across five hours.

wrong.

first thing in the morning there was a walk in. but still, no big deal. our first appointment was at eleven, and it was only nine oclock. we dealt with him, and sent him on his way, to wait for the next appointment. soon we ran out of things to keep us occupied work-wise. kelli (the other worker) started texting and reading a disease book. i occupied my time drinking jasmine tea my chinese veterinarian said i should, and flipping aimlessly through a dog breed book, sometimes writing down the names of the dogs i wanted. and thats how it went, me thinking this would be the easiest saturday of my life. oh the irony.

our appointment finally comes. we get her squared away..."Georgia" who needed a physical exam and a blood test for a refill of rimadyl-used for arthritis. she almost bit us, clipping her nails. stupid little dog. then another walk in came in, right as "Georgia" was leaving. a beagle, whose name escapes me, but was pretty much the whole reason we stayed an extra hour at work, walked in. she had been hit by a car on new years eve, and the owners took her to an emergency vet hospital and were coming in for a followup...she had a hematoma. a huuuge pocket of skin was just full of blood on her shoulder. we started draining it--there was about 100 cc in there. we were draining it with a 12 cc syringe, so it took awhile to get. then, when we were finishing, dr chang was moving the needle around to make sure we got all the blood out, he hits a nerve. the dog FLIPS OUT, while i'm holding her, and then steps on the side of the bowl containing all his blood. it ends up on my face and my shirt, all over the ENTIRE cat room, and on dr changs white pants. ON MY FACE. good thing i'm not squeamish about blood. but it was still pretty gross. then the dog sat in it. we spent a good deal of time cleaning both the dog and the room. while we were entertaining ourselves with that, another walk in arrives. a STUPID chihuahua named "Buddy" Lin, and who never make appointments. good thing we made them wait. and then our twelve oclock came, a yellow labrador named "Huckleberry" who we were going to put to sleep (PTS) today. which is, obviously, a sensitive subject anyway. and they walked in when we were hectic. holding the seventy some odd pound dog in his arms. with his wife crying hysterically beside him. and her sister. and all three of us holding bloody towels or cleaning solution..that was bad. we hurried them into the back as quickly as possibly, setting up the back for a PTS and trying to make them and the dog comfortable. while "Buddy" barked and "Sadie" bled. oh that was her name..sadie. we took care of the appointment first. we kept "Sadie" in the back and told her owners to come back later. we left "Buddy" Lin and his parents out in the waiting room, getting what they deserve-a nice long wait. but the PTS was far from smooth. we keep the owners out of the room while we try to insert an IV catheter into a vein in the dogs front leg. we could not get it right. the veins were too sickly, constricted and twisted. it refused to work. i believe we were poking that poor dog for a half hour before we finally got it to enter a vein and stay there. it was backbreaking work, literally. bending over the table for half an hour, straining to hold the dogs leg just right for the frustrated veterinarian, trying to anticipate what he needed next. quite frankly it was exhausting. then we finally killed the poor thing..is that terrible to say? i have to say i am quite unmoved, except by the grief of the owner, to have participated in killing an animal today. he was sick, and was in pain. they dont understand sicknesses like we do..they know they hurt, and putting them through things like chemotherapy and even some other treatments just seem to them as torture..i wouldnt want that for any of my own pups, so i didnt even feel bad letting this one go. it had almost no muscles left, it couldnt get up on its own, it had a huge porous bleeding tumor on its neck, and it was obviously in pain. i felt good, assisting the killing. sometimes i wonder if i'm a heartless being because i can do that and move on in less than a minute..but then i remember. and that fleeting thought flits away. anyway. but he passed on, as he would have done sooner or later, more slowly and more painfully. and then we had to deal with the body. this process is made extremely difficult by the fact that we make paw prints of every animal we euthanize. to send to the owners. we have to trim the nails, clip the hair away from the paw, put ink on it, and make a pretty print on a pretty card. i kind of like doing it, though..comforting the grieving owners. i just always hope that they dont think about how we do it..they always want you to be gentle with their animals, to handle them softly and lovingly..well after they are gone and the animal is dead we are almost brutal. we toss them about this way and that sometimes, to get the right angle to stamp their paw on a paper. their limp bodies flop about, sometimes releasing their bowels, sometimes not. its almost disconcerting to think about, but there is no time to be gentle with an empty shell. so then we toss, or hug it if its heavy, into a big plastic bag. or, also depending on size, two plastic bags. and we tape it around and around and stick a tag on its paw, then plop it in the big freezer we have, to wait for the people to come dispose of the bodies. the big freezer usually smells pretty bad. i hold my breath. and look at all the tortoise shells that make it smell raunchy. and the other dead bodies bagged up & labeled. but we still had work to do. the bleeding hematoma dog, "Sadie" was still waiting in the cage. and the stupid chihuahua was waiting too. something wrong with his eye. gross bug eyed dog. always wearing some type of vest thingy. probably cuz he doesnt have enough hair to survive without it. its called natural selection for a reason. but we tended to him, because he's money all the same. well i didnt..i let kelli, the rat-dog lover handle that case. while i dealt with a dead dog. then we all dealt with the bleeding one. and thats pretty much how the story goes. we ended up working until two, when we should have been gone by one, and i had important things to do.

as in, go to disneyland.

which was, in short, amazing :):)

so you NOT gonna hire me because i'm BLACK??!

greatest video ever.

best parts: cereal, and the long look she gives.
cracks me up! go mad tv.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYYAvPjNmYY

2009

is gonna ROCK.

...in six months. it all kinda starts for me in june. thats okay. i can be patient. sometimes.
but here's what happens.
1. eric comes home!
2. GRADUATION! finally free from stupid high school!
3. Nauvoo-i actually get to go this time, because i'm actually old enough for that. not that i'm bitter.
4. Malaysia-my family is planning on going back with eric after he gets home so we can scuba dive in malaysia, when he couldnt while he was on his mission. its gonna be AMAZING.
5. Italy- this is a possibility. my dad goes on random work trips up to italy that are sporadic, so we dont really know when this is happening.
6. Iceland-i have been saving for this for forever! my aunt and i plan to travel the world together..and it starts in iceland this august. its gonna be CARAZY!
7. BYU-i'm going to college!
8. i'll get to see falling snow!!

and maybe a couple of more surprises:) lifes always better with a few of those.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!