r-r-r-r-raaaandomm

these are random short stories & philosophies that should have been blogged a long time ago.
or are recent. you dont need to know. just enjoy. :)

1. Tips For Stargazing:
--the brightest stars are always planets. name them, then change your mind two minutes later.
--to find the north star, you make a straight line with the edge two stars of the little dipper. but only if you draw the line the right way, then you get the north star. and theres no way to tell which way is the right way, just do it. & if you see a bright star, thats it. if not, you LOSE.
--only half of the sky is necessary to see
--turning your head at odd angles is definitely a necessity for seeing constellations.
--dont compete to get off the bus first. :)

2. One Day In Preschool
everyone hated me. the kids wanted nothing to do with me. paul called me fat. isaiah pretended he didnt remember my name and he thought it was funny. he also said i wasnt his friend when we had been buddies just the day before. someone hit me, i can't remember who it was at this point, but they did. riley, who had been hanging on me the day before, was now hanging on someone else, and not even noticing me. not ONE kid would talk to me, let me play with them..it was the worst day in preschool i have ever had. and i still can't figure it out, to this day. everyone loves me again, what was with that day? must have been twilight zone-ish.

3. Snorting
so okay, i snort when i laugh sometimes. get over it. it just happens. but..this time it was different. it was ward conference, my ward. karina & i were sitting next to each other. ps:bad idea. if they wanted quiet anyway. well bishop thompson was giving the spiel he give everytime that i have now heard five times (i think, i'm not really counting) and i was saying it to karina before he said it and i thought i was all cool. well i was, but that is a different story. and he says something about beating up the principal of the school, because that was something that Joseph F Smith did when he was a boy..and he tried to connect it to our day, saying what if you beat up the principal of the school? what would happen? and karina says under her breath, "that would be....satisfying." and i bust up in a laugh that BEGINS with a snort, and we were in the CHAPEL, int he first four rows of pews and bishop thompson was down in the front speaking to us like prez wynder always would, disregarding the microphone (none of them need it, they boom). and i snorted. everyone looked, of course, and you could hear the "did she just snort"s going around. it was ridiculous. and slightly hilarious.

4. Flies are Russian Spies
and are really really annoying. actually they werent flies they were some weird insect that swarm inside my house by the four's..meaning there were four of them. anyway. they were super annoying. and i was trying to do my homework (or was i?) and they kept stupidly hitting the lights over and over again. it was driving me crazy. i dont know if it was so much the sound of them hitting the lights as the stupidity of bugs in general, that they would repeatedly throw themselves into a light source, that irked me. but it did. a lot. so i went on a mission. a mission to kill. & i did. i got those russian spies & killed them while singing the james bond theme song to myself. i'm sure my parents thought i was crazy..i was crouching around the kitchen singing that with a "sound & sense" book and a ruler in my hands, randomly swinging at nothing (but really those bugs) when it was silent in the house. (an unusual occasion in itself.) i entertain myself sometimes.

5. Dancing At Midnight
karina, for some odd reason, was over at almost midnight, on my computer..& i was catching up on the DVR shows i had missed. well after that i had this weird kind of energy, so i made karina dance with me. it was ridiculous. and i mean the dancing. it was something i probably will never do outside of that night. honestly, it could have been the definition of crazy.. then sometimes we would break down laughing and fall on the floor. at one point karina flung her arms so hard her wrist snapped and it hurt her..then she danced carefully with her arms and told herself to do this while she was dancing.. "careful with the arms, karina" that was too much for me. i couldnt get off the floor for a full five minutes & my abs hurt so bad. how do we get so crazy? then we made a few more videos..that i would show you but it takes too long to load onto here so you'd have to come over to my house. ohhhh goodness. ahhahaha

6. Following People In Grocery Stores
lauren & i, man we were funny. this is how it went : we were at Stater Bros, getting stuff i forget what, but we were in the fresh vegetable section, the sprinklers turned on, scared the crap out of me, and i screamed. the guy next to us just busted up laughing.. thats not awkward at all. well okay it was funny, and lauren could hardly stand up for laughing, and she did that thing where she leans over to one side and lifts her foot up & laughs silently. it was funny. THEN we started seeing this guy all over the store, kinda like he was following us..then we started following him on purpose. to see if he would notice. it was so much fun. another secret spy mission. we just kept appearing in the same isles, and i do think he looked at us funnily a couple of times. but it was the greatest. then he would move on and we would tip over laughing again. i think we forgot most of what we came for and had to go back later. or not. i can't even remember. :)

7. I Think I Already Posted
about the overflowing toilet at jeff's house. ahahhaha

8. Wanna know how to collect urine from a killer whale?
i know. and i'm super excited that i know. so i'm going to enlighten all of you. they pee on command!! they come up on the slick "shore" part, and lay on their side then pee on command! they're kind of amazing. i went to seaworld with ap bio. and it was fascinating. they did animal husbandry and training shows for us. & i absolutely loved walking aroud seaworld at my leisure by myself. i read all of the pamphlets and the signs and learned a LOT about sharks, and manatees, and how they help the animals in the wild, and how they save sea lions and manatees and all sorts of animals.. it was FABULOUS. and i want to train sea lions to dance with me like they do. but seriously...i really wanna train a sea lion. they are so funny! they'd make me laugh everyday. not that i dont already, but i just want to train a sea lion. :)

thats all i got for now.
haha