the thing about college is..

i feel a void.  a void where the people and things i care about should be. a void that should be full of lily. my sister.  my beautiful big black labradors.  my mom.  my family. my best friends.

i guess my nurturing side is overpowering at times. okay, most times. or all times.

i got a couple of plants.  but they don't do much. i can care for them, but not about them.  its not the same.  a labrador will tell you he needs you 24 hours of the day. i could stand to be needed a little bit less, but its nice all the same.

but the things is..a void leads to emptiness. emptiness to loneliness.  and loneliness to sadness.

and for as unsociable and taciturn a nature as i have, i think i have a bit of a problem.

i'm just not cut out for college life.

because of course, the natural solution would be to get a dog. but living in college apartments really throws a wrench into that plan.

option b: get a baby. to do this would mean getting a husband or jeopardizing my spot in the celestial kingdom. neither of which i'm willing to do at this point.

option c: transfer schools.  UW?  in my dreams.  can anyone say out of state tuition??

option d: internship.  pros: out of utah, much more exciting. cons: still not with my family, and too much money (that would be my dad's con, even though its no more than a semester here)

option e: get a ferret named harold.

i did option e.