In Theory..

Anna and I had plans for this time around. Well, perhaps not so much plans, as expectations for a fantastic semester. Last semester turned out to be close to perfect--we all became a family, we were undeniably happy--and this semester seemed like it could only get better.

So far, January has taken all those expectations and smashed them to bits, then ground them into a fine powder to blow away in the icy wind.

My mother says it's just January. All January's are like this. I hope she's right. I think it's probably God's sense of humor. And all my fault.

And before I'm struck with lightning, I'll explain. I've been struggling with motivation to progress, lately. I haven't been doing anything wrong. I just haven't been doing everything right. I haven't wanted to progress, quite frankly, because that's more responsibility, more work. more time spent, more accountability, and more uncomfortable all around.

I was in church one day I don't even remember when someone mentioned praying for help in finding motivation to progress. Not just to "help me progress." So I did, because really I figured that is something I should do--for the mere fact that I didn't actually want to do it.

I must be extremely dense, however--because only through breaking my bones has the Lord been able to get through to me. And although it still hurts like a broken bone, yesterday I found myself being grateful. I am grateful I broke my foot. Right now I'm learning so much more about myself and those around me than I ever have before. I'm learning how to communicate, how to rely on people, how to trust them. How to let things go, and how to know my own limits. I'm learning about how kind people can be, and how chivalry is very much still a thing.

And as Anna and I are pulling ourselves forcefully out of the hole we've metaphorically fallen in (with the help and hands of many around us), I'm progressing. We've started roommate scripture reading and I can't believe how much I can learn just from talking with our little family about gospel principles. It's really quite amazing, and I hope we keep it up.

Well, that's my theory anyway. I prayed myself a broken foot. That, or, I broke my foot in a meaningless way playing a meaningless game and I was an idiot.

I'm gonna go with the first one.