who thought finals were a good thing?

honestly? no.


this week sucks. until thursday at 10:39.
then freeeeedoom.
& formal.

i. am. exhausted.

anthrax&potties.

dont get along. add this to my vendetta against toilets. although it could really be called karina's vendetta against toilets. because this is FUNNY.

so were going to a movie night at jeff's house. and were gonna take a ride in his sister's convertible. and karina(anthrax) of course has to go to the bathroom. a minute later, she is yelling "jeff. JEFF! JEFF!!!" and lauren and i knew exactly what was up. jeff turns the corner and sees her open the door and watches the water spill out into the hallway. yes. she flooded his toilet. lauren and i could not stop laughing, and poor jeff had to clean it up. while laughing. we tried, honestly, to help, but there were too many butts in the bathroom and to be perfectly honest, we were doubled over with laughter and not much help at all. i think the best comment of all was his mother saying "I'm so glad you could join us ladies!" then laughing. it was the best. sooo funny. and i love it. best story EVER!

and yeah. karina, i told the world your embarrassing story. too bad i know youre not really embarrassed by it. but maybe you will be by this: (as a rebuttal to the one you posted)

she's single(ish) boyss!! <3

shop happy. shop now!!

http://www.layersclothing.com/

karina and i were looking at this website. a clothing website. and the homepage, above, is a slideshow of pictures and if you click on it it goes into the catalouge of clothing. well, i didnt know that you had to click on it. so i'm staring at this slideshow, waiting for it to change into something i can look at, while the middle of the page says "shop happy. shop now." and i'm just confused, while karina is getting more and more frustrated just sitting there watching me zone out and this slideshow going..so she yells, "shop happy shop now!!!" trying to get me to click on it, but i still didnt really get it..so she yells it again. "SHOP HAPPY SHOP NOW!!" and it was hilarious.

ohhh good times. gooood times.

ps. this is blog # 50. exciting, right?

biotechnology!!!

so, no joke, i'm a biotechnologist now. i love it. today i get to zero period and the package we were waiting for had arrived! so now we could finish our lab.

we had started this lab by making a cocktail of enzymes, buffer, and lambda DNA. three different enzymes, one control. these were in microliters too. we used micropipets and everything. they look a little like this:yeah. theyre nifty. you set it to how much you want to suck up, then it automatically will take in only that much. its pretty nice. especially considering were talking wayyy less that water droplet size. well we make these cocktails and then we put them in a gel electrophoresis machine thingy. which looks like this:

and then, you load the gels (which looks like a flat rectangle of jello with holes from a comb on one side.) you load them by micropipetting the enzyme/DNA into the holes from the comb. then putting the side with the DNA in it on the negative(black) side because DNA has a slightly negative charge and will travel through the gel matrix to the positive side, the smaller pieces of the DNA being the farthest travelling when you pump it with about seventy five (it varies) volts of electricity. then you stain the gels with ethidium bromide, which binds to the phosphate bonds of DNA. then when you shine ultraviolet light through them the DNA lights up. heres the results of my experiment! seriously i took this picture of my DNA results today. its fascinating. and super cool!!!!

the bands are the DNA. ISNT IT COOL!?!?!?!??!

by the way. this was more for my pleasure than for anyone elses, so sorry-ish. well no. but i thought it would be a nice touch. and if it didnt make sense, like i was just rambling, which i was, it makes sense to me so thats all that matters. :)

pizza & apples. to apples.

even though i'm a loser and lost the game miserably, it was a great day. ditto to the whole weekend. even when i was rudely woken up and dragged to Albert tacos somewhat against my will (not really. i loved it.).


so minus school, and waiting for college to accept or reject, i'm completely happy. really. its interesting. to say the least.

so here's a shout out to all the people who are important in my life. you make my days. always. thank you!

i can't grow up.

i dont think its possible.

when my daddy can still tickle me out of a bad mood from a bad day, i dont think i have the right to grow up.
i love you daddy! happy birthday (tomorrow).

my aquatic dream

so i was thinking about aquariums not too long ago one night right before i fell asleep..and i had the best dream i have ever had.

it started out, well, at the aquarium, what a surprise! i was sitting in front of the otter's cage and i could hear them talking, so i started a conversation with them. they're pretty brutal animals, by the way, not very nice. and i'm serious..they arent very nice, even in real life. but they were mean, so i moved on. i saw the octopus, and talked to him, but he was too smart. then i talked to the dolphins and sea lions. they were amazing. and fun. and they told me i should join them. so i did, of course! and i was transported to the ocean. the big blue, thats the one. no more tanks. i was in the most beautiful alcove, standing on the rocks on shore looking out at the ocean, when a friendly whale pops up. he said i should join him on a tour of his home, and how could i refuse? i had no need of breathing in dreams anyway. it was, quite frankly, amazing. the ocean is beautiful, with its crystal clear blues and greens and my friend the whale next to me. we saw a kelp forest and the sandy bottoms, the rock bottoms, and the reefs..and of course the dropoff point where the deep meets the shallow. it was more than beautiful. but then, our trip had to come to an end. the friendly whale dropped me off at my alcove and i told him how beautiful his home was. and he said, yes, it is beautiful, isnt it? but we also have predators and ugly things in the beauty. i told him it was better than my home, anyway. minus the predators.

then i woke up.
but it was gooood while it lasted. i love dreams. :)

i had a request

for my talk, because eva missed it. and this is just for you eva st.clair! otherwise it makes me a little uncomfortable posting it.. i dont know why. i shouldnt be uncomfortable posting my testimony, right? well here it is. (picture me crying through the whole thing, and you kind of get the gist of it.)

Why I believe in Christ.

First of all, I believe in Christ with all my heart, might, mind and strength. I know he lives and loves me. But why? While preparing for this talk I had to deeply think about my testimony and where it came from. It wasn’t a sudden thing; it didn’t come as a surprise. It was slowly built, wavering at times, but always there.

I believe in Christ because I was born of goodly parents, who raised me to know and love Him. They took me to primary and made me sit still through sacrament meeting, keeping me on the straight and narrow until I was able to do it on my own. I am so thankful to them for that. They are still my guidance, as I go through my personal trials, and without fail, they help me back to Christ and his love.

I believe in Christ because I have friends who are strong in the faith and keep me grounded in my beliefs. I know that without them, my testimony would be struggling. They all have His light in their eyes.

I believe in Christ because I attend my church meetings. Between Sunday meetings, seminary, and mutual, a good chunk of my week is devoted to the Church, which in turn strengthens my testimony of the living Christ. In seminary this year, we are learning about the New Testament. We talk about the Savior and His life everyday, and everyday the spirit touches me, and I know again that it is true. He did die for me. He does live for me.

I believe in Christ because I have Young Women leaders and Sunday school teachers and seminary teachers who teach me what I need to know to emulate Him. They take time out of their busy schedules to further my testimony and to make sure, to the best of their ability, that I will make the right decisions, so that I can return to Him and be worthy to stand in his presence.
I believe in Christ because I believe in personal revelation. I struggled, a while back, with my testimony, and whether I believed. I prayed, and prayed, and I prayed frustrated that I wasn’t getting the answer I wanted. Finally I made some changes in the way I lived my life.. I strived to read the scriptures more, I tried to ponder them, and retain what I read for more than five minutes. I finally received an answer, while reading my scriptures one night. A thought came into my head that told me “You’re doing just fine.” And I could feel His arms around me, comforting me as a father comforts his child.

I believe in Christ because anything that makes me feel this way has to be true. I can’t deny that I have, often times, felt the burning of the bosom and the happiness of knowing my Savior.

I believe in Christ because I know Him. I have felt his presence, I have felt his love. He loves each and every one of us, and he knows us personally. This I testify, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

internet withdrawls.

i've been having a few, i'll admit. our internet isnt working great, even still, and i'm taking my chances being on here, but i just couldnt help it. i havent been on since, like, last wednesday. its not cool, my friend, not cool. it just all of a sudden stops working for no reason..it should be fixed for good sometime tomorrow or today or sometime pretty soon. hopefully. although maybe it is a good thing..apparently i CAN survive without it..not very happily, and only if i ask other people for my assignments in some classes that are all online..but its not a happy experience. i'd rather have the world at my fingertips-all the time. its quite a reassuring thing. i've had many things happen that i thought, oh i'll just get on the internet and figure that out...but NO, i couldnt. it was slightly terrible.

on a totally different note, today was stressful. but pretty okay, after all. i stressed way too much about it, i can say now, as i look back and see that it really wasnt that much of a big deal..okay so maybe it was. but i'd like to let go of all that stress and be happy that it turned out somewhat well. today was stake conference. and i was assigned a solo to sing AND a talk to give. i sang the second verse of I Stand All Amazed, and then, right after pretty much, i gave a talk about why i believe in Christ. my mother says it was really good because she looked out at the congregation and saw a lot of tissues going around. personally i couldnt see a thing, i could barely read the talk even. but she was crying too, so i dont know how she saw them all. the most touching though, was afterwards, when president mackay gave me a hug for about a minute, and he wouldnt let me go, and i could feel him crying. he's so sweet. and brother reed, calling me and choking up as he tried to tell me how much he appreciated my talk. i honestly didnt think it would make that big of an impact, but i've been getting calls all day thanking me for the talk..i've never had that happen before. its an odd feeling. thinking that i might have impacted someone today that i wouldnt even know about. a good odd though, i'd say. all in all, it wasnt as bad as i imagined it could have been..i saw all sorts of scenarios run through my head before it all happened, seeing every way that this could go terribly wrong, but i was praying all morning--most literally keeping a prayer in my heart today. and it went smoothly. i thank Him for that. and i think i could use a little break from the public speaking thing for QUITE awhile now...i suggested that to president smith, but he said it doesnt work like that..maybe i'll get lucky.

5 months & 10 days...

until i'm free from the dictatorship of dr carpenter's oppressive rule. until all seniors of cypress high school are free!

JUNE 15th, baby. JUNE 15th!!

it is five months, isnt it? dont tell me if it isnt. i can't even think about actually trying to do the math right now..i just heard a girl say it in my english class. so i took her word for it.

no biggie, right?

so last night, my co-worker texted to tell me that she had gotten into a car crash and wouldnt be able to go to work today. i said okay. no biggie, right? we only had two appointments scheduled for that day. no problem. our boss wasnt there either, it was just us manual laborers and the vet. piece of cake. we could handle two measly appointments spread out across five hours.

wrong.

first thing in the morning there was a walk in. but still, no big deal. our first appointment was at eleven, and it was only nine oclock. we dealt with him, and sent him on his way, to wait for the next appointment. soon we ran out of things to keep us occupied work-wise. kelli (the other worker) started texting and reading a disease book. i occupied my time drinking jasmine tea my chinese veterinarian said i should, and flipping aimlessly through a dog breed book, sometimes writing down the names of the dogs i wanted. and thats how it went, me thinking this would be the easiest saturday of my life. oh the irony.

our appointment finally comes. we get her squared away..."Georgia" who needed a physical exam and a blood test for a refill of rimadyl-used for arthritis. she almost bit us, clipping her nails. stupid little dog. then another walk in came in, right as "Georgia" was leaving. a beagle, whose name escapes me, but was pretty much the whole reason we stayed an extra hour at work, walked in. she had been hit by a car on new years eve, and the owners took her to an emergency vet hospital and were coming in for a followup...she had a hematoma. a huuuge pocket of skin was just full of blood on her shoulder. we started draining it--there was about 100 cc in there. we were draining it with a 12 cc syringe, so it took awhile to get. then, when we were finishing, dr chang was moving the needle around to make sure we got all the blood out, he hits a nerve. the dog FLIPS OUT, while i'm holding her, and then steps on the side of the bowl containing all his blood. it ends up on my face and my shirt, all over the ENTIRE cat room, and on dr changs white pants. ON MY FACE. good thing i'm not squeamish about blood. but it was still pretty gross. then the dog sat in it. we spent a good deal of time cleaning both the dog and the room. while we were entertaining ourselves with that, another walk in arrives. a STUPID chihuahua named "Buddy" Lin, and who never make appointments. good thing we made them wait. and then our twelve oclock came, a yellow labrador named "Huckleberry" who we were going to put to sleep (PTS) today. which is, obviously, a sensitive subject anyway. and they walked in when we were hectic. holding the seventy some odd pound dog in his arms. with his wife crying hysterically beside him. and her sister. and all three of us holding bloody towels or cleaning solution..that was bad. we hurried them into the back as quickly as possibly, setting up the back for a PTS and trying to make them and the dog comfortable. while "Buddy" barked and "Sadie" bled. oh that was her name..sadie. we took care of the appointment first. we kept "Sadie" in the back and told her owners to come back later. we left "Buddy" Lin and his parents out in the waiting room, getting what they deserve-a nice long wait. but the PTS was far from smooth. we keep the owners out of the room while we try to insert an IV catheter into a vein in the dogs front leg. we could not get it right. the veins were too sickly, constricted and twisted. it refused to work. i believe we were poking that poor dog for a half hour before we finally got it to enter a vein and stay there. it was backbreaking work, literally. bending over the table for half an hour, straining to hold the dogs leg just right for the frustrated veterinarian, trying to anticipate what he needed next. quite frankly it was exhausting. then we finally killed the poor thing..is that terrible to say? i have to say i am quite unmoved, except by the grief of the owner, to have participated in killing an animal today. he was sick, and was in pain. they dont understand sicknesses like we do..they know they hurt, and putting them through things like chemotherapy and even some other treatments just seem to them as torture..i wouldnt want that for any of my own pups, so i didnt even feel bad letting this one go. it had almost no muscles left, it couldnt get up on its own, it had a huge porous bleeding tumor on its neck, and it was obviously in pain. i felt good, assisting the killing. sometimes i wonder if i'm a heartless being because i can do that and move on in less than a minute..but then i remember. and that fleeting thought flits away. anyway. but he passed on, as he would have done sooner or later, more slowly and more painfully. and then we had to deal with the body. this process is made extremely difficult by the fact that we make paw prints of every animal we euthanize. to send to the owners. we have to trim the nails, clip the hair away from the paw, put ink on it, and make a pretty print on a pretty card. i kind of like doing it, though..comforting the grieving owners. i just always hope that they dont think about how we do it..they always want you to be gentle with their animals, to handle them softly and lovingly..well after they are gone and the animal is dead we are almost brutal. we toss them about this way and that sometimes, to get the right angle to stamp their paw on a paper. their limp bodies flop about, sometimes releasing their bowels, sometimes not. its almost disconcerting to think about, but there is no time to be gentle with an empty shell. so then we toss, or hug it if its heavy, into a big plastic bag. or, also depending on size, two plastic bags. and we tape it around and around and stick a tag on its paw, then plop it in the big freezer we have, to wait for the people to come dispose of the bodies. the big freezer usually smells pretty bad. i hold my breath. and look at all the tortoise shells that make it smell raunchy. and the other dead bodies bagged up & labeled. but we still had work to do. the bleeding hematoma dog, "Sadie" was still waiting in the cage. and the stupid chihuahua was waiting too. something wrong with his eye. gross bug eyed dog. always wearing some type of vest thingy. probably cuz he doesnt have enough hair to survive without it. its called natural selection for a reason. but we tended to him, because he's money all the same. well i didnt..i let kelli, the rat-dog lover handle that case. while i dealt with a dead dog. then we all dealt with the bleeding one. and thats pretty much how the story goes. we ended up working until two, when we should have been gone by one, and i had important things to do.

as in, go to disneyland.

which was, in short, amazing :):)

so you NOT gonna hire me because i'm BLACK??!

greatest video ever.

best parts: cereal, and the long look she gives.
cracks me up! go mad tv.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYYAvPjNmYY

2009

is gonna ROCK.

...in six months. it all kinda starts for me in june. thats okay. i can be patient. sometimes.
but here's what happens.
1. eric comes home!
2. GRADUATION! finally free from stupid high school!
3. Nauvoo-i actually get to go this time, because i'm actually old enough for that. not that i'm bitter.
4. Malaysia-my family is planning on going back with eric after he gets home so we can scuba dive in malaysia, when he couldnt while he was on his mission. its gonna be AMAZING.
5. Italy- this is a possibility. my dad goes on random work trips up to italy that are sporadic, so we dont really know when this is happening.
6. Iceland-i have been saving for this for forever! my aunt and i plan to travel the world together..and it starts in iceland this august. its gonna be CARAZY!
7. BYU-i'm going to college!
8. i'll get to see falling snow!!

and maybe a couple of more surprises:) lifes always better with a few of those.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!!

so today at work..

saying that when i work at a veterinary hospital is akin to saying that right after a day at band camp. or girls camp, whatever floats your boat.

well this dog comes in..and it was cute. i mean the thing was as annoying as..heck. but it was adorable. but it had a skin condition. i swear that was all we saw today..dogs with skin problems. so we did a skin scraping, where he takes a scalpel blade and runs it across the top of the skin to get a sampling of the cells and then looks at them under a microscope.

this is where it gets gross. the dog has an infestation of mites. a particular kind called scabies. its not pretty. that was probably the most disturbing little waggling thing i have ever seen.



it really does look like that. the one i saw had shorter stubbier leg lookin thingies and it waggled. there arent many other words to describe it really..it waggled. or wobbled. it was between a slip cover and a slide, so it didnt move much...just waggled around in a circle. it was pretty disgusting. and yet probably the coolest thing we saw today. although we caught this bug early, so the dog was still cute. but here are a few examples of what can happen if you dont get it early. ps. its not pretty.


and a human example. oh yes, this can happen to you! doesnt it just make you itch? i can barely type its so disturbingly itchy.


yeah. pretty disgusting. i'm sure you'd notice before that though...its extremely itchy. so dont let this happen to you OR your pet. its not good. if your pet is itching constantly in the same place and losing hair and the skin is showing signs of inflammation or anything of the like, please, please take them to the vet. not that it is going to be scabies. but anything like that is not going to be healthy for it. so you should. agreed? agreed.

& then i cried my eyes out.

marley & me.

best movie ever. okay so it makes it on the list.
up there with australia. & pride and prejudice. and charly. and 10 things i hate about you.
and quite a few other best movie ever's. but you know how it goes.

but seriously. that was amazing. like the kind of movie that is moving. and touching. not just a silly chick flick romance--cuz it wasnt. it was about marriage, and family, and a dog. it showed the hardships of marriage, how the dog ties it all together, family, and the whole ten yards. it was beautiful.

of course, when the dog started dying, thats when i started crying. bawling, would probably be a better description. i only barely managed to keep it quiet & not hiccup.

thats a lot like how i'd like my life to be. with the gospel, of course. but it was the best depiction of life that i have seen in a long while.. a simple movie, with a simple meaning.

life is good. live it to the fullest. and love every moment.

Swedish Smörgåsbord

this is like the highlight of my entire year. when my entire swedish side of my family gets together on christmas eve and we have a Smörgåsbord. bascially, a buffet. of swedish food. lots of cheeses as appetizers, crackers, veggie trays. the cheeses are really really good. mmm. and then the real food..swedish meatballs are the highlight of my life!
so they might look a little gross there, but i really liked the swedish flags in them. but really. they're delicious. & there is ham and all kinds of other stuff out on the swedish buffet table.. oh like pickled herring. i am so NOT wild about that...actually i have never tried it, in all my years of attending these buffets on christmas eve. because its fish. and thats just gross. plus, everyone else who tries it really regrets it-every year. but we have lingonberries too, for on the ham. and of course peas and carrots. oh and yummy potatoes. the red skinned ones. & there was more. but i'm done making myself hungry. :)

i just posted a square number

so i have this thing for numbers. i like them. when they're nice to me, of course. but dont get me wrong. i dont like math. i just like numbers. and some simple addition, subtraction, division, multiplication, possibly some algebraic equations..but my favorites are square numbers. they're pretty cool. well. with exceptions. heres my philosophies:

i like odd numbers, for the most part. but fives are out of the question. unless it is five squared, like twenty five, or 125, thats okay. my favorite simple numbers are 3, 9, and 11. i really like three and nine because three squared is nine. and eleven is just cool. two ones! but i have never liked seven. i hated seven, even, for the longest time. and it actually kind of bothers me when its some peoples favorite number. because its so mean. i dont really know where i got this, but this is always how i've remembered a few of my addition principles. seven was always mean to the four, because four wanted to become twelve so much. seven only teased it by letting it get to eleven, but not twelve. THEN along comes stupid five, who thinks she's better than everyone else, and seven lets HER get to the eleven. then 8 comes into the picture, and was nice enough to allow four to become twelve. so its kind of like the mean and popular kids in the movies. the four is the nerdy girl, the seven the mean popular boy, the five the girl who always gets her way, the eight the nice boy who comes along and saves the day. i dont know why everyone wanted to be twelve, cuz i dont even like that number very much..but i dont like any of the numbers in the story much anyway. seriously though, i have known that story like someone taught it to me when i was three. all my life. who knows how kids make up these things?? i certainly dont, and i did it. but anyway. back to the numbers.
i really like it when they work. and by work i mean, in a license plate or something, when they add up, or are even the squares of each other. it makes me happy. lock combinations too. i dont think i could remember my locker combination if it didnt make sense to me mathematically. & i used to love my license plate dearly..but it had to be replaced. it WAS 4bzz329. 329!! three squared is nine! i loved it so much. & even two squared was four, but that was a stretch. and then with an ONOMATOPOEIA in the middle...BZZ..how could i not love it? it was beautiful..but then my car was called legally totalled and so i had to replace the license plate when we brought it back to life. :( then its name had to be changed. oh well. i guess i could get over it. but he will never be the same.
oh. this all stemmed from the fact that i now have 36 posts. (with this one, it is 37, but thats okay...i'll hit 49 soon)

& if anyone survived through that mumbo jumbo, congratulations. if it was at all understandable, you now have my nonsense. now that is something to celebrate.

its just one of those days

one of those days where i have no adgenda. nothing to do. no school to be done. although i do have some homework to be finished. but its a fabulous thing, laziness. i'm still in my pajamas. and its almost four oclock in the afternoon. i sat on the couch in a warm blanket and watched mamma mia. & the librarian. & bones. it rained. its cold. its been one FABULOUS day.

now for a shower...maybe.
:)

i've decided to make friends with my alarm clock

i realized this morning as i was laying in bed, fuming because my alarm clock had just gone off, and i was warm & cozy under my two comforters..i'm so mean. my poor alarm clock. he just wants to tell me the time and be helpful! he wants to wake me up so i can welcome the new morning and tell me that its a beautiful day! i've been physically abusive to him too..i think he now needs a name. i think i'll call him...jeremiah. my jeremiah. poor poor jeremiah. will he ever forgive me? after these four years of physical and verbal and mental abuse? i dont know that i can forgive myself even..he is only trying to help. tomorrow i will make it an effort to thank jeremiah when he goes off. and gently push the snooze button. five times. and thank him for encouraging me to get up and greet the brand new day. and go to seminary. at 5:50 in the morning. and i will be happy about it. :D

GOAL: when jeremiah goes off at 4:13 which is really 4:03, i will roll out of bed, thank him, gently push snooze, and roll back into bed. then repeat in ten minutes. and another ten minutes. and another ten minutes. and another ten minutes. then when i look at the clock and the rush of adrenaline goes through me for thinking it is almost five, i will get up, run to the bathroom, and take a super quick shower, throw on some makeup, brush teeth, etc, etc, etc, and make it to seminary on time to lead the music & give devotional. FUNSIES.
just needed to peptalk myself into actually going through with it.

stupid alarm clock.

velociraptors

are pretty great.

however
if i were chained to a bunkbed with one of them?? i'm OUT in 38 seconds. && i definitely have proof.
I could survive for 41 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor

Created by Bunk Beds.net

okay, so it was 38 seconds, but when i did the HTML the first time i did it wrong; then i went back and took the test again, & gained an extra 3 SECONDS! woooo.

ahah thanks jeff:)

i got into BYU-idaho!!

"you so totally rock!! ---DUUUDEEEE!!!" -crush.


but seriously. i GOT IN! not to be cocky or anything, but i was pretty sure i'd get into byui. not so sure about byu provo, which is what i really want, which is still pending...

but what i'm really excited about is going away to school!! i CANNOT wait. getting accepted into byui just means to me: getting out of cypress, CA. and going to school, by myself, on a campus that is spiritual as well as secular. its amazing! i just didnt wanna end up at cypress college...not that its a bad thing, but its just not the path i want to take.

it was soooo good to see those words on my application; "admitted. click here for additional instructions." AHHH. it was the BEST!

i love life:)

i almost died in disneyland.

well not really...just everything happened to prevent me from going to disneyland. [until later that night]
so heres the story. i drive to jeff's house, and he takes us the rest of the way..he lives pretty close, and he has a parking pass. so we get to disneyland, about to get in the lines, when i realize that i have left my disneyland pass in my car at his house. and my whole wallet. i called karina and asked her to get it. her mom had her car though, and she couldnt leave until she came back...which was an hour later. but she went over there, got it, then i called her to get my christmas shopping list for me too, and she got out of her car, grabbed it, then realized she locked herself out of the car. while it was running. she called her mom to come and unlock the car. it was embarassing. but we'll get over it. because i nearly died in disneyland. i'm sure of it.
and then...we had wayy too much fun.

the end.
:)

all i want for christmas is hugh jackman

man oh man is he gorgeous
and when he cries
its like a hole is ripping through my chest!
&& that australian accent!
ahhhhh.
that is ALL i want for christmas.

ps and by the way
go see australia. its amazing.

& on that note
karina and i found the best thing ever.
and started a new religion.
its called going to the movies every tuesday.
FOR THREE BUCKS.
yeah.
four star cinema.
every tuesday
3 bucks.
all day
all night.
its a beautiful thing. its the one in garden grove, by the bowling alley, for all you california peoples. you should hit it up too. man its GREAT. and our other religion now. yay! :)

mmkay. signing off. :)

its official

my ipod is dead.
dead.
dead.
dead.

funeral is tomorrow.
and i'm still wearing black.
out of grief.

how does one go on after a loss like that???
maybe this isnt so much greif
as withdrawls

i'll admit. i was addicted.
and now.
i wonder how long it will take me to get over it.
probably just...forever.
:(

i was gonna go to the ipod store.
but i called & they said i have to see a technician.
and i'm a chicken.
its my own fault.
and i accept the consequences.
sadly.

new favorite christmas story, made me cry

A Brother Like That

Paul received an automobile from his brother as a Christmas present. On Christmas Eve when Paul came out of his office, a street urchin was walking around the shiny new car, admiring it. "Is this your car, Mister?" he asked. Paul nodded. "My brother gave it to me for Christmas." The boy was astounded. "You mean your brother gave it to you and it didn't cost you nothing? Boy, I wish..." He hesitated. Of course Paul knew what he was going to wish for. He was going to wish he had a brother like that. But what the lad said jarred Paul all the way down to his heels. "I wish," the boy went on, "that I could be a brother like that." Paul looked at the boy in astonishment, then impulsively he added, "Would you like to take a ride in my car?" "Oh yes, I'd love that." After a short ride, the boy turned and with his eyes aglow, said, "Mister, would you mind driving in front of my house?" Paul smiled a little. He thought he knew what the lad wanted. He wanted to show his neighbors that he could ride home in a shiny new car. But Paul was wrong again. "Will you stop where those two steps are?" the boy asked. He ran up the steps. Then in a little while Paul heard him coming back, but he was not coming fast. He was carrying his little crippled brother. He sat him down on the bottom step, then sort of squeezed up against him and pointed to the car. "There she is, Buddy, just like I told you upstairs. His brother gave it to him for Christmas and it didn't cost him a cent. And some day I'm gonna give you one just like it...then you can see for yourself all the pretty things in the Christmas windows that I've been trying to tell you about." Paul got out and lifted the lad to the front seat of his car. The shining-eyed older brother climbed in beside him and the three of them began a memorable holiday ride. That Christmas Eve, Paul learned what Jesus meant when he had said: "It is more blessed to give..."

& it was orange and chunky

crappy day. literally

it started off well. a cappella silent night in seminary, to which i was on time, and brother reed complimented me so sweetly. and everyone said they liked my hair, even though now i'm not so sure about it. and in chem the seating changed and i sit next to holly again and we are going to have a ball...but. then it turned south. [where does that expression come from anyway? whats wrong with the south?] chemistry test tomorrow that i forgot about, and forgot the book in my locker at school which i need for the homework and to study from. english i have to finish a big book and review it before next wednesday.
and then, walking to forensics, a BIRD crapped on me. in my hair, on my shoulder, IN my sweatshirt pocket, on my pants pocket, on my calf, and on my boot. and it was orange and chunky. it doesnt help that some asian girls were pointing as the crap fell and screaming. thanks. that really does a lot for me. point and scream nonsense in a language that i obviously can't understand and walk away after the fact. and THEN i had a headache. and then i had to take a make-up test in forensics that was ridiculous, and i got a C on.
DOUBLE-YOO TEE EFF??
and then mother was in a bad mood.
and we ALL know. if momma ain't happy, ain't nooooobody happy.

and. AINT THAT THE TRUTH.


thank goodness for psych. & monk.

& yay for failing chem tests tomorrow!
i heart failing!

toilets are my mortal enemy

so i've discovered:
i REALLY hate toilets.

say it in any lanuguage:
toilette
gabinetto
туалет
Klosettbrille
sustantivo

theyre STUPID

it took my ipod.
and ruined my ipod.
it was such a JERK

but, thank you, toilets, for taking my waste and depositing it where i dont have to smell it. it is very considerate of you.

JERKS
i want my ipod back! i mean working! cuz i went in and got it!
:(

it might be because i have this "x" feddish..

but. i love the nickname:



bex.



said by certain people of course.
this one? definitely claimed mostly by jackie.
and i think my fabulous aunt cami says it a lot too.


but really, i just love x's.
not many people have those in their name. its unique, you know?
so i claim it, officially, as mine.

my lauren's friend from byu-i

this is the best compliment i've ever had in my life. from someone i've never met. and talked to maybe thrice. (i just really wanted to say thrice)

"i swear, i cant wait to meet you
i have a feeling im gonna need to pack extra pairs of underwear with how much im gonna laugh"

who could NOT love that?
i gotta say. i'm flattered. honestly.
but, how could i not be pee-your-pants-repeatedly-fun, when i start the conversation with "fatty fat fat?" and somewhere along the lines come up with, "i will forever be subservient to thee, o great one." ahah. okay. so that last comment was pretty much a tribute to myself and my greatness. sometimes i just can't help it.
oh how i love being a kid. most of the time.


oh and ps. this really isnt just some random girl. she' s my lauren's friend from byu-i. <3

sunday morning

rain is falling. "sunday mornings by maroon five" its in my playlist^

more like ASHES are falling. california is burning up. and were getting the ashes and smoke. my car is covered. in ashes. and so is our front porch. and its still falling.

ring around the rosy, pockets full of posy, ashes, ashes, we all fall down.
--how many of you sang that in your head?

but, its no joke. i dont even want to go outside. its hard to breathe. you know when you're camping and the smoke from the fire just wont stop following you? thats kinda how it feels right now. 24/7. the smoke is just everywhere. the ashes are in your hair, on your car, on your slippers when you go out to get the morning paper. asthmatics shouldnt leave their homes. agoraphobics have it made. the sky is brown, the sun is dimmed.

its a sad day in california today.
keep us in your prayers, guys.

hiccoughs; or hiccups?

this has always bothered me.
what is the real way to spell ... those annoying things?

that i have right now. and its really ticking me off.
i usually dont get them for a long time, like now. i [hiccup] once, maybe twice, really loud, and really obnoxiously (i have been told multiple times i sound like a pterodactyl) and then its over. but no, not this time. they arent really loud or really obnoxious. just ANNOYING TO ME. i mean, if i have the [hiccups] i want them to be annoying to everybody else too. and i was gifted with just the right kind. but these! the truly annoying ones. the small, and almost inconceivable to the naked eye ones. its just really, really annoying to me, and only me. where did i sign up for that?? nowhere. NOWHERE. well i guess i am grateful it isnt the really loud annoying ones, because one: there isnt anyone else home. and two: they hurt like the dickens.

aaaand they stopped. was it because i was saying mean things about them? did i hurt their feelings? well GOOD. and DONT come back.

i mean it.

anyone ever seen the guinness book of world records for [hiccups]? its like, years. how terrible would that be??? i would have hated to be that man. even to get my name in the guinness book. what if he lied? does anyone know the process it takes to get into the guinness book? it seems to me everyone would lie. but hey, thats just my view of the world.
and now: its peanut butter jelly time! good song, good song.

are you too manly to say "pretty"?

so i just had the greatest conversation on facebook.
thank you, clinton jamison.

his status said "clinton jamison is writing a report on diatoms."
and this, of course, set my nerdy side a-tingling
and i get all excited--why? ultimate nerdiness here: i absolutely LOVE diatoms. like, really. i love them. they're so amazing. if you dont know what they are, here's a little summary from my friend wiki:

"Diatoms are a major group of eukaryotic algae, and are one of the most common types of phytoplankton. Most diatoms are unicellular, although they can exist as colonies in the shape of filaments or ribbons (e.g. Fragillaria), fans (Meridion), zigzags (Tabellaria), or stellate colonies (Asterionella). Diatoms are producers. A characteristic feature of diatom cells is that they are encased within a unique cell wall made of silica (hydrated silicon dioxide) called a frustule. These frustules show a wide diversity in form, some quite beautiful and ornate, but usually consist of two asymmetrical sides with a split between them, hence the group name. Diatom communities are a popular tool for monitoring environmental conditions, past and present, and are commonly used in studies of water quality."

so its long. but how could i resist an oppourtunity to teach!? they're wayy cool. but they say a picture is worth a thousand words, & even though i could give you a thousand words instead, here they are:

arent they pretty??
but anyway, back to my story.
i facebook chatted him. and our conversation goes a little like this.
me: "ps. i love diatoms"
him: "you are one of the few. nah. they're okay"
me: "they're amazing!"
him: "well what makes them really cool is their ability to withstand pressure and [insert some smart comment here, it escapes my feeble memory]"
me: "and they're pretty. dont forget they're pretty"
him: "yeah i guess they look cool"
me: "too manly to say pretty? its okay, i get it. ahahhah"
him: "fine they're pretty. happy now?"
me: "very:"
him: "as long as i made your day..lol"
me: "yessir, you did indeed"

little did he know i was going to write an entire blog about it!
so yes, my geeky bio nerd side comes out every so often. but when people say things like diatoms, i am powerless to resist.

i keep logging on

hoping against hope for someone other than me to post a blog
and to spare me the monotony of a biology lab on mitosis.

but alas, it is not to be.
i must suffer through. uninterrupted.
how dull and boring.
and yet, it really irks me to be interrupted at other times.
how so?

humans are so crazy sometimes!
yeah, i know, i just insulted myself.
but it needed to be said.

^^asianbecca.